The Leaf (unfinished)

Just three dark nights to go and it will be the start of another year. Here comes 2006. Like a leaf, my 2005 just withered, yellowed by time and become fragile. So fragile that it can be seized by just a soft kiss of the wind to the branch that nurtured it. Every leaf has its turn to leave its nurturing branch, join the wind to its never-ending journey and again embrace and nourish the earth so that it can give life to a new leaf.

I am a leaf. Nevertheless, I refuse to go and therefore become a confused leaf. My mind refuses to give me the answer on whether I am a leaf still attached to branch, a leaf that is sailing with the wind going on nowhere or a leaf waiting to be consumed by earth. 2005 was really a hard and barren year.

Today, three more tiring days to go before 2006, I left home for work before the sun rises to the Mt. of Montalban. As I walked deep in thought on what to expect next year, I caught a glimpse of scattered lazy fog moving smoothly, praying for the sun not to rise.

Fog reminds me of death.

I love fogs.

Suddenly I noticed a man walking at other side of the street. We are the only people on the street that early morning and he is going on where I am going. He looks tired and sad. He keeps on walking, slowly as if he is the only human being left on the planet after a terrible plague and war. He keep his head bowed as if stripped of all the human dignity & pride and continued walking like a blind that memorized a path after a million times of passing it….

And then, slowly, he lift up his head and stared at me.

I was so shocked because the man on the other side of the street is ME!
I don’t know if it was because of the fog. I looked again and blink. But my eyes was playing tricks on me.
I am looking at myself on the other side of the street. My mind refuse to believe it because it is impossible.
But I am there on the other side and between me and my other self was a thin fog….

Para Maiba Naman

Matagal din pala akong di nakapag-blag. Dami kasi trabaho. Habang click ako ng click kung saan saan kasabay ng pagwawala ni Alanis Morissette sa aking media player, napansin kong puro Ingles ang aking blag. At nagbalik sa aking ala-ala na trenta minutos kong pinag-isipan ang mga blag na yan bago nabuo.Eh kasi nga Ingles. Di katulad pag tagalog, dire-diretso lang ang pag type.
Kaya naman naisip ko na tagalugin naman ang aking mga blag. Dahil nga matagal na akong di nakapag blag eh naipon at dumami ng dumami ang nilalaman ng aking puso't isipan na noon ay karaniwan kong isinisiwalat sa pamamagitan ng pagsusulat.
Ang unang bagay na bumabagabag sa akin ay hindi ang impeachment ni Gloria at ang "Gloriagate Scandal" dahil mga peste sila lahat. Ang aking ikinababahala ay dahil wala akong maisip na dapat kong ikabahala na dapat talaga sa sitwasyon ko ngayon ay dapat na ako'y nababahala ngunit wala.
Ako ba ay isa ng bato? Insensitib?Paralisado?
Palagay ko naman ay hindi dahil nalasahan ko pa naman ang ulam kong "Century Tuna - Flakes in Oil" na tinanghalian ko kanina. Naisip kong masarap palang ulam ang mantika. Puro kasi oil ang "Century Tuna" pero natuwa naman ang bituka ko dahil hindi siya kumalam nung alas tres na.
Gabi na. Uuwi na ko. Siguro wala ng traffic.
Bukas ko na lang ulit ang kabaliwang ito.

Conquering Cavite

It's Saturday, and if it weren't for the "Baby Gaia’s Appointment", I might still be dozing. Besides, I badly need a lot of fresh air, which I supposed I would find in Cavite. Last night’s beer vapors escape from my mouth as I examine myself in the mirror. That is what I called "Special Mig-Migs Morning Beer Vapor". Each morning after spending the night in that rat-hole bar, I always realize that I hate that place. That I hate hangover and I hate myself. But that is after the fun. And so I always come back, err no --- WE always keep coming back. A little bit of guilt makes you realize you are still human. Hmmh, foolish thinking -- but makes sense.
We left Eastgate – "the nearest planet from the sun" at around 4:00 p.m. Together with the aliens from Eastgate (we are 10 or maybe 11 or 12, -- damn, it doesn’t matter I guess, we are all aliens anyway) we took the rectangle spaceship which they call on Earth as "Bus" going to the land called Cavite – the land of the unknown. The spaceship is full of Earthlings, so we have no choice but to stand during the whole trip. And so after 456.235 light years, we finally reach our destination. As I stepped out that oven-like "Bus", an idea entered my
Supercalifragilistic-espialidocious mind (hmmm, watta word…). That "bus" should be "bombed", so that it cannot torture anybody again. We are like baked potatoes when we arrived.
Why am I here again?
a. To get some fresh air.
b. To eat spaghetti.
c. To visit baby Gaia.
d. To have a couple of beer.
e. To conquer Cavite.
f. All of the above.
Do I really need to answer this -- Letter F summarizes it all.

Click this link to see picture of Baby Gaia and her alien parents
http://shw.fotopages.com/5492339/msg-12772-1.html

After we conquer Cavite, we go to Bicutan – the land of broken dreams, cradle of tired seafarers, the land of famous and scandalous jailbreaks. Together with Ricky Martin, Migz, Butchong and yours truly– the four alcohol-dependent, beer-deprived musketeers, we invaded Bicutan - the land of broken dreams, cradle of tired seafarers, the land of famous and scandalous jailbreaks. We spend the night there, talking nonsense, telling lies, making sad jokes and funny heartbreaking topics.
At last, I still saw the morning sun.
It’s a nice Sunday morning, hoping for new adventures – with Mr. Tide Ultra, my friendly gloves, Ms. Downy and my dirty clothes.

Planet Eastgate

If it is true that there’s heaven in Earth then it’s also true that there’s hell in Earth, specifically in the Philippines, and more specifically in Manila. It’s been hell here in Manila since the summer started. The afternoon sun can really scorch you to death. There is evening rain for the last two nights but it offers a little help. The sun is really determined to destroy the Earth by fire.
I find that evening rain a little bit odd. It’s romantic but sad. Unpredictable.
That evening rain was announced by blinding lightning. That impenetrable darkness was occasionally cut by bladed light. From the window of that bored jeepney, I saw the street hedge gently sway from the occasional gust of wind. I am amazed because despite of my aching muscles and tired eyes, I noticed it. Because it’s odd, I supposed. I love odd things. It’s a nice deviation from a long months routine.
Then something hit me today. In my situation now –bored to death, broke, unhappy and without direction --- I must appreciate little things that I encounter everyday. It really makes a big difference. I know it’s tiring and hard to find the bright and positive side of everything but it’s really worth a try, and it’s a must for me in my current situation. It’s the only thing I can do to counter the terrible heat waves emitted by this unusual planet I called – EASTGATE – the nearest planet from the sun, discovered by the unsmiling dragons. Sometimes I love this planet. Sometimes not. Well, that’s life I guess. You have to learn to love the most hateful things and situations on the current planet you’re in or else you will die. Now I do believe Darwin’s theory of evolution, which states that the survival or extinction of each organism is determined by that organism's ability to adapt to its environment.

Overworked

.
Wake up at six.
Do the morning rituals.
Caught in morning rush.
Traffic.
Time in.
Check e-mails.
Answer phone calls.
Prepare for class.
Update files.
Lunch break.
Back to work station.
Entertain enrollees.
Surf the net.
Time out.
Caught in the evening rush.
Traffic.
Have dinner.
Sleep.

Damn, I've been doing this for two years. I'm so damn bored to death. What a life!!!