Here and There - Sudden Wisdom on a Hell Day

While trying to finish my usual 2-page To-Do list today, I suddenly stopped, gave a deep frustrated sigh, stared at all the papers in front of me, and thought of quitting... yes, resigning from this job... I don't know but I'm contemplating on this idea for almost a week now.

Like a choreographed emo moment, the next song played by my player was "I Will Get There" by Boyz II Men...

I will get there, 
I will get there somehow, 
Cross that river, 
Nothing's stoppin' me now, 
I will get through the night, 
And make it through to the other side

But...

How can I be sure that "there" is a better place than "here." I know myself, when my "there" has become a "here", I will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

Ahhhhh, hell day it is!

__________________
Image Source: Kamicarus by Egil Paulsen

Yodz Guide To Interpreting Profile Photo on Social Networking Sites

Do you have a photo of your dog as your profile pic on Facebook, Friendster or Multiply? What about a picture of you and your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend? One buddy I went to college with has an image of his penis (that is what he says) as his profile pic. Every time my female college classmates see it, it weirds them out.

Some believe that having a profile picture… a good profile picture… is one of the most important aspects of online surfing or Facebook profile.

However, I do always think that a profile is not as important as your first approach message… but it is a key element if you are selling yourself (looking for relationship or sex online.)

I don’t know what a lot of netizens think when a “no-face” tries to talk to them on the internet without a picture? Maybe they are thinking… Wow, what a creep. What’s he/she got to hide? He/She probably looks like a disgusting mutant. Gross! Even worse… they might also think you’re just down-right unconfident and insecure.

But, are the impressions of those strangers important? 

So what kind of pictures should I be using?

The study entitled “Is Your Profile Picture Worth 1000 Words? Photo Characteristics Associated with Personality Impression Agreement,” explored the characteristics of the profile photographs and their association with impression agreement. It concludes that the more information the photos contained about the personality of the profile owners, the higher the impression agreement from zero-acquaintance visitors. Profile photos of a human being rather than an animal or non-human object were associated with higher impression agreement. Impression agreement was also higher when the photos revealed facial features (such as smiling) and hairstyles (not obscured by hats), which have been shown in past research to be used appropriately to gauge Extraversion and Agreeableness in strangers (Zebrowitz and Collins 1997).

By the way, here is a supposed-to-be guide for interpreting the profile pictures of your unknown "friends" in Myspace, Facebook, Friendster, etc.

EXAMPLE	PHOTO TYPE	WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK	THE TRUTH
	BLURRY	Artistic	Has acne, possibly mustache if female, nearsighted, cross-eyed.
	ANIME	Eccentric, possibly Japanese	Computer geek, Can't leave childhood
	Holding some sort of alcoholic beverage	Funny, laid back	There was never been a photograph taken of them where they weren't holding an alcoholic beverage
	Very closely cropped	Enigmatic	Fat
	Jamming on Guitar	He's in a popular band and rocks out all the time	Unemployed
	Close-up breasts	Sexy and Naughty	Fat
	Face at strange, usually downward angle	Eccentric possibly super model	Ugly; this is the only good picture of them ever taken
	Dark brooding	Doesn't care	Dangerous, possibly a pirate or a terrorist
	Cartoon character, such as Tweety Bird or Bugs Bunny	Cute, playful	Immature, probably fat or ugly
	Guy with beard sitting on couch	Sits on a couch a lot, has a beard	Sits on a couch a lot, has a beard

Sand and Stone

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one face.

The one who got slappedwas hurt, but without saying anything, wrote the sand: “TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.”

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote a stone: “TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.”

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?” The other friend replied:

“When someone hurts us, we should write it down in where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Wealth, Success or Love?

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard.

She did not recognize them.

She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?" they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in.

"We do not go into a house together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said.

Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!" he said. "Since that's the case, let's invite  Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever he goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!"

Ten Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives

While reading the book "10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger, I received these cute pictures via forwarded e-mail entitled "Why Men Need Parents"

I was about to write a short book note for posting here and thought that these pictures are worth sharing together with the short summary of the book.

Would you agree with these?

1. STUPID CHIVALRY.

    By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her.

 2. STUPID INDEPENDENCE 

     Unwilling to admit “need” for bonding and intimacy, you hide in excesses of work, play, drink, drugs, porn, and meaningless sex. 

3. STUPID AMBITION 

    Unable to comfortably and proudly accept your inherent importance to society and family as husband and father, you bow to the false idols of money, toys, power and status.

4. STUPID STRENGTH  

   Uncomfortable with feeling weak, vulnerable, useless, powerless, or rejected,you use intimidation, force, or passive-aggressiveness to regain control.

 5. STUPID SEX 

     Taking an attraction, opportunity, or erection as a “sign,” you measure your masculinity and power by sexual conquests, infidelities, and orgasms. 

 

 6. STUPID MATRIMONY 

      Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you’ve gone down the aisle with the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to “fix it."

 

 7. STUPID HUSBANDING 

     Thinking that marriage is the honorable discharge from loving courtship, you continue to live as thought you were single and your “mommy-wife” will take care of everything else.

 

 8. STUPID PARENTING 

     Believing that only women/mothers nurture children, you withdraw from hands-on parenting to assert your masculine importance, missing out on the true “soul food” of a child’s hug. 

9. STUPID BOYISHNESS 

    Having not yet worked out a comfortable emotional and social understanding with your mother, you form relationships with women that become geared to avenge, resolve, or protect you from your ties to Mommy. 

 

  10. STUPID MACHISMO 

         Understanding the true and meaningful difference between being male and a man, you can become a man.

_______________________________ 

Summarized & Compiled by Yodz Insigne

Source: Schlessinger, Laura, "10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" New York:Harper Collins, 2002.

Image Source:  via forwarded e-mail (if you own the above pictures Contact Yodz for image deletion request or proper source citation)

Warning:Browsing Yahoo Answers can cause Semi-Deep Thoughts Syndrome

To kill my terrible boredom today, I tried searching for some weird stuff using google but it’s just returning junk search results – maybe because I was searching for weird stuff.

Then this question caught my attention “Are there any blind optometrists? Can I sell fire extinguishers in hell?” – It caught my attention because I’m the one who posted this question in Yahoo Answers during one of my bored-to-death-days.   

Yes, I admit, I am guilty of posting crazy questions in Yahoo Answers – because I get crazy answers and it’s fun. To my surprise, I am not the only one doing this. Yahoo Answers has lots of unanswerable, nonsensical, illogical yet funny questions.

While browsing I came across these probing questions, which makes me smile:

WARNING:You should not attempt to do scientific research to answer these questions - semi-deep thoughts syndrome can cause silliness!

• What do we say to God when he sneezes?
• How many Americans are currently frozen in the hope of one day coming back to life?
• What is the percentage of nuts do squirrels lose because they forget where they put them?
• Why do frogs keep trying to cross the road after seeing what happened to their buddies when they tried?
• Where does the fat go when someone loses 30 lbs?
• In what type of container is Styrofoam shipped?
• Who hears the Pope confession?
• Did bald eagles ever have hair?
• Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Is there a split between mind and body, and, if so, which is better to have?
  

After reading these questions I felt this semi-deep thoughts swirling in my head - I actually like it because it effectively killed my boredom.

Any answer to these questions? 
Any probing question you want to share in the comments section?

By the way, if there are semi-deep thought questions, there are also semi-deep thought best answers. Check this out:

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

 

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large  pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

 

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery         

Q Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

 

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow                                    (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.G. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U                        

Q.. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?
A. Nearby

 

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium  

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

 

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.        (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.     

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

 

Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.                

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

 

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

BRILLIANT! BRILLLIANT! 

Starting Today, Be Afraid that Your Life Will Never Begin

As I go on with this crazy life, I learned that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let me down probably will.

I had my heart broken more than once and it's harder every time. I learn to break hearts too – only to regret it because it always reminds me how it felt when mine was broken.

I fight with my friends. I blame a new relationship for things an old one did.

I can’t understand why time is passing too fast: I'll eventually lose someone I love.

So, starting today, I will take too many pictures, I will blog too much, I will laugh too much, and love like I’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds I spend upset is a minute of happiness I'll never get back.

To those who are taking time reading my posts, don’t commit the mistakes I did.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

What will you do if someone throw shits on you?

Maybe you already came across this story, but I like to share it here anyway and add a few comments.

The story goes like this:

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

They say this is the moral of the story:

People love shoveling dirt on us, all kinds of dirty stuff. The trick: shake it off and take a step up – make each trouble a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

But of course, if they throw shits on you, you just cannot shake it off and step on it. 

Now here’s my own version of the story’s ending

The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

The true moral of the story:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

I want to hear your own story or any thoughts on how you deal with those who loves throwing dirty stuff on you – hope you didn’t bite them!