The Tyranny of My Second Mind

Looking at my feet, I walked, and did not notice the rain,
Till the gentle droplets reached my brows and fall like tears,
With clouded thoughts, I stride the deserted street,
The jeepneys were gone, and men also few.

Annoyed being ignored, the rain got furious,
I heard its million drops hit the battered asphalt,
Forming a king’s crown as its journey ends,
And in my hands I saw my dreams, abandoned like a child.



Yet blamed my other mind that fractured my resolve,
Than I reviled my existence and myself,
For subjecting my sacred vow,
Upon the tyranny of my second mind. ***

- random poem by Yodz -

[Reflections on losing discipline, indecision and losing focus. 

Written during during the typhoon "Karen"] 

20 August 2008, Mandaluyong City. 

Notes:__________________________

***Paulo Coelho, the famous author of “The Alchemist” said that we have two minds, first is the one we use in decision making and is used for logical thinking, the other one is the random thoughts and most of the time, uncontrolled. If you wake up with a song that just keeps playing in your mind, humming a melody without lyrics like a “ta-de-dum…la la la” thing, well that is your second mind doing its trick. In my case, I consider my second mind as my evil mind. Maybe that’s why Paulo Coelho strongly suggests controlling or in some instances, killing your second mind. [Notes from my post: Tomorrow I Will Kill My Second Thought]

On To Better Things

Today is the day I am contemplating about what I’ve been thinking for roughly three months now – handing over my one-month notice. I’ve been with this company for six years, going seven this coming February.

I’ve been thinking of handing my one-month notice to my boss and put this experience behind me. I’ve left a company before for a better opportunity. In this case am just leaving.

Sure the uncertainty is troublesome. Like anyone, I have bills that need to be paid. However, the fear of the unknown is better than the reality of the known with this job.

On to better things… It’s time to move on to better things.  



I don’t think it matters what one does for work, but what does matter, for me, is that the work is able to sustain an ever-increasing interest; that the work leads in unexpected directions; that it unveils me unto myself. I can tell I am heading on the right path when my work brings me closer to a valuation of life in all its forms. When it happens, I feel accountable for the work I do. It becomes more than me and I feel responsible to it. When I feel responsible, I sense how much I’ve yet to learn. And I burn to continue.

In the end, I am like all the other individuals. I must find my own work, a work that is greater than myself. When I find it, I know I will suffer. When I suffer, I will seek for answers, and I will grow. When I grow, others will grow along with me.

Maybe I should leave the corporate world and pursue my dream of becoming a full-time teacher.

Follow your heart and the money will come. Do what you love. It’s all the great advice and I love hearing it. Everywhere I go, it seems like the conversations always turn to “What do I really want to do?”

The problem is, most of us never find the answer.

What to Do with Your Random Photos

We love taking pictures – it is a fact. During events like company outing, anniversary, or just a simple dining out with friends, it is our habit to take random photos – for Facebook, for Friendster (I think this site is already dead), for fun, or simply just to kill boredom.

Over time, these photos eat up a lot of our pc’s disk space, so from time to time, we take time to delete those not-worth-saving pics (but most of the time, they are all worth saving.)

During one of my bored to death weekend – that means no internet due to some software glitch, no date and broke – I randomly browse old photos, to at least lessen my weekend frustration and also to free up some disk space.

I came across these old photos and got an idea of making comic strips out of it. I realized these photos are so funny and random, you can make funny or tragic stories out it. I put the photos in sequence depending on my storyboard, included some text, background music and compile it using Windows Movie Maker.

Here are the results:

Clip Title: Ang Trahedya sa Lagos – (The Lagos del Sol Tragedy)

We took these photos during our company outing in Lagos del Sol Resort in Laguna along Caliraya Lake.

Clip Title : Pinoy Big Sister House

Barkada gig in one of our office mate's house in Cavite.

Clip Title: The Adventures of Baby Gaia

Baby Gaia is the daughter of one of my officemate.

Pretending to Be Busy at Work Can Cause Diarrhea

Jim, my officemate was recently promoted to assistant manager but I guess he couldn't reconcile himself to his new office and position.

Before 5:00 p.m., Mr. Swabe (not his real name), our senior manager, used to drop by at every office on his way out for a little chit-chat. Yesterday, I saw him heading to Jim’s office, so I warned Jim in advance.

To show how important and busy he was, he picked up the phone and then asked Mr. Swabe to have a seat. Jim kept talking on the phone, nodding and saying, "No problem, I can handle that," “Yes,” “Yes, everything is being taken care of, don’t worry.”

After a few minutes he hung up and asked Mr. Swabe what he could do for him.
Before Mr. Swabe could reply, somebody from the building maintenance office suddenly came in and said,  "Sir, I'm here to connect your phone."

Jim suddenly excused himself and ran to the CR and stayed there for an hour.

Colorful Life of a Champion - Funny Tribute To Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao

I know Mondays are hell-day at work, so I thought of sharing this to you guys - the visitors and readers of this blog, hoping this post can at least make you smile. Have a break! Smile!

________________________ 

 

Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao (pronounced /ˈpækjaʊ/; born December 17, 1978), known as Manny "Pac-Man" Pacquiao is a Filipino professional boxer, part-time actor and recording artist.

At an early age, Manny is already showing signs of athleticism.

Manny came from a poor family. So most of the time, he's on the street begging.

 

 Because of his determination,Manny was able to finish Elementary.

  

Unfortunately because of poverty, he's not lucky enough to finish High School.

 

 At the age of 15,
he already showed his inclination
on different sports like....

Sumo Wrestling

 

  

and Basketball

 

However, sad to say Manny
failed on those sports...

That's why Manny became very depressed.

So depressed...

  

Until Freddie Roach came to the rescue

  

and the rest is history...

At present, Manny holds the distinction of being
a seven time world champion in 7 different weight division.

Because of his popularity in the boxing world....
Manny became an International Celebrity.

He already made international
and local films like....

"Super Pac-Man"

 

"Dragon Ball Z"

 

"Saving Sergeant Pacquiao"  

 

"Star Wars"

  

"Lord of the Rings"

 

and "Twilight"

  

Because of the success of Twilight
a local sequel was produced and
it was entitled....

"Toilet"

  

Other Local Films made by Manny are....

"Machete"

  

"Tora-Tora Bang-Bang"

  

He also made top rating Teleserye like....

"Marimar"

  

"Dyesebel"

  

 and "Meteor Rain"

 

 Because of Manny's popularity,
his mother Aling Dionisia also
became an instant celebrity.

Just like Manny, Aling Dionisia
also made top rating Teleserye like...

"Rusaleynda"

 

 and "Katursi"

Manny was not really happy about the
idea of his mother joining showbiz,
because in short span of time
Aling Dionisia got involved
in various sex scandals like....

Careless Whisper Scandal

 

and Web Cam Scandal

 

  Despite the intrigues,
Manny is continuously receiving
medals and awards because of the
honor he has given to our country..

  

For all of us.....he's a Hero!!!

  

Actually, there's a proposal in Congress
to print Manny Pacquiao's face
in the Five Peso Bill.

  

We can never tell....in the near future
because of Fame and Fortune,
Manny Pacquiao could become
the next Philippine President.

  

WOW! what a Cinderella story......
hahahaha.... it was so touching!

Definitely we are not laughing at Manny Pacquiao,
neither we are laughing at Mommy Dionisia.
We are laughing at the pictures depicting both of them.

Who will laugh at Manny Pacquiao....

Our world stops every time he's on the ring,
the crime rate goes down and you can feel the
unity among Filipinos.

He's an inspiration to all of us.

He's the best pound for pound boxer in world
right now and nobody can dispute that.

Just recently he gave another honor to our country
by becoming the cover of Time Magazine.

 

In November 14, Manny Pacquiao set a new world record as the 1st boxer to become a "Seven time Champion of the World" in as many different weight divisions.

What a Feat!!!........

Note: Received via forwarded e-mail. Above pictures are intended as visual satires only, (this only means they are really famous.) Kindly contact yodz for original photo citation, or request for deletion - but read my disclaimer first.     

The Crazy Side of Me - Livin' la Vida Loca

We made this cool video during one of our barkada trip at Enchanted Kingdom. On the left is me, my friend Bar (center) and Stup.

This is my way of telling you people that, yeah, I can be funny and crazy sometimes.

Sometimes the only way to have a life is to commit to it like crazy.

Orgasm

I am currently reading the book “No Ordinary Moments” by Dan Millman and came across one section which I think worth sharing. It is a section about the primary gateways of stress release, which includes orgasm.   

Orgasm serves as a universal and relatively benign method of tension release, through masturbation, sex with a partner or spontaneously, as in nocturnal emissions (“wet dreams”). As an inherent biological drive to help ensure continuation of the species, orgasm can be distinguished from higher motives of love, affection or intimacy – we can, and often do, achieve orgasm without any of these higher motives. Mutually consenting adults can and do engage in uncommitted “sports sex” – having orgasms, then going their separate ways. However, the highest form of sexual intimacy includes both love and desire.

As with the other gateways, sexuality only becomes problematic when it becomes compulsive or addictive – when we abuse it rather than use it. Those who become addicted to orgasm pursue a variety of means to achieve it and tend to use partners or themselves as sex objects in order to release tension.

In today’s world, indiscriminate, promiscuous, unprotected sexual relations have become a high-risk behavior with serious even fatal consequences – not to mention the emotional turmoil related to the regret, deceit, and insecurity that sometimes accompany affairs.

For those without a partner, masturbation is recommended as a means of managing our sexual-creative energies. A near universal practice, masturbation provides an accessible gateway of release with no emotional strings attached. Masturbation seems preferable to deceitful, loveless, and compulsive sexual encounters that risk disease, pregnancy, or one-sided emotional entanglements. Masturbation also helps resolve, in a simple and harmless way, different levels of sexual desire in a relationship; if our partner is not interested or available when we desire orgasm, we can masturbate to relieve the sexual tension.

By definition, however, masturbation does not involve relationship with anyone else; it involves no circuit of energy exchange, vulnerability or intimacy. Those who are addicted to this particular gateway even though a partner is available may want to re-examine the level of openness and communication in their relationship, and to explore deeper levels of sexual intimacy.

The fewer internal obstructions we have, the less compelling our need for orgasm. With less need, we have more to give, which enhances the intimacy of our sexual relationship. Reduced pressure for orgasm is quite different, however, from inhibited drives, sexual blocks or repression, or guilt driven attempts at celibacy, which may signal a need to seek professional help.

Source: Millman, Dan. 1992. No Ordinary Moments: A Peaceful Warrior’s Guide to Daily Life. California, USA:H. J. Kramer Inc. p. 68-69 

How Do We Catch Sand Crabs in Mindoro - Learning from Nature

Aside from building sandcastles, we used to catch sand crabs for fun during my childhood days in our town in Occidental Mindoro. Sand crabs usually stayed in their deep holes along the sandy coastlines. One way to catch them is to dig their holes, but that takes a lot of time 

The crabs are foolish too!

It is well known, especially among the Filipinos, that crabs are selfish. The term “crab mentality” is used to describe a kind of selfish, short-sighted thinking which runs along the lines of “if I can't have it, neither can you.”

Only a few know that crabs are foolish too! That foolishness, of holding on to something dangerous, makes them easy to catch. 

Foolishness is deadly

To catch them inside their deep burrow, we use clotheslines or a small rope. We tie a piece of fishing net on one end of the rope and insert it in the crab’s hole. When we feel the crab’s claw pull in the line, we will keep on twisting the small rope and slowly pull it out of its burrow until we catch it.

All it needs to do is to let go of the other end of the rope to escape being caught, but it clawed that “something” that invades its territory, believing that it is an important fight. The crab doesn’t know that holding on to something unimportant and lifeless will cause him his life.

Nature is a great teacher on how to live our life

For the past years, I am like a sand crab. I keep on holding on to “something.” But I don’t even want to name that “something,” it has no name.    

It is hunger perhaps.

I hunger for growth and change from my old ways, from my old habits and thinking, but I keep on holding the other end of that “something,” defiantly resisting change, believing that it is an important fight.

I am a fool. Even if I already feeling the tension and the pain it is giving me on my daily affairs – crazily nurturing my frustrations, I still keep on holding on.

Maybe that “something” is “expectations.”

Yes, I guess it is “expectations.” the damn process of what may happen scares me - expectations from family, work, friends, life, career and myself all build paralysis in my mind.  Conversely, I feel frustrated when I have thoughts of expectations from these, draining my spirit and circumvents my growth, it is frustrating expecting anything. I hate it to be honest. 

Or maybe it is silence.

This silence – this silence that keeps feeding on my strength. This silence that breeds more silence, nourishes my indolence, nurtures my weakness, keeping me stagnant, forever staring at that lonely star before dawn. I am becoming weak, growing weaker still – this silence has bereft me of sense.

My soul itself gone stark, mad perhaps because I know longer acknowledge REASON. Like that foolish crab, I keep on holding to something lifeless and unimportant.  

I need to abandon all, to break silence, to kill expectations, to feel life, to end my hunger, and start living my life.