Sand and Stone

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one face.

The one who got slappedwas hurt, but without saying anything, wrote the sand: “TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.”

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote a stone: “TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.”

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, “After I hurt you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?” The other friend replied:

“When someone hurts us, we should write it down in where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it.”

Admitting we need others: the importance of e-Allies and Comrades of Heart

Lord of the Rings movie The Two Towers inspired me when Frodo Baggins takes up his quest to take the ring to Mordor and his allies respond:

Frodo: I will take the ring to Mordor, though I do not know the way.

Gandalf: I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, for as long as it is yours to bear.

Aragorn: By my life or death, if I can protect you, I will. You have my sword. 

Legolas: And you have my bow.

Gimli: And my ax.

Samwise: Ha! Mr. Frodo’s not going anywhere without me!

Legendary characters in stories about heroes, mythology and history tell us that friends, teachers, guides, allies, mentors and comrades of heart always assist them on their adventures. Batman has Robin, King Arthur has the Knights of the Round Table guided by the wisdom of Merlin, Han Solo didn’t go solo and the Lone Rangers wasn’t alone. Like these heroes in a quest, we are not meant to be alone.

The road we are taking maybe the road less traveled, yet all those we meet and know who are also traveling it are bonded in spirit. I believe we are all meant to be supported, yet we must seek it, accept it, and give support in return. It is our duty to give hope to one another, tell one another the painful truths, provide encouragement and be one with celebration, inspiration and acknowledgement. 

We need others

After the typhoon “Ondoy,” I volunteered to join the relief operations of our company to distribute food, water and candle to co-workers who were affected by the flood. We passed by Marikina City, the most affected area and I saw the enormity of the calamity. How would it be possible to do this without other people? I realized that it is their right to be surrounded by other people in times like this.

In our daily lives, we meet people who refuse to accept support or help, for crazy reasons like pride, fear, shyness, fault, self-pity or for whatever personal reasons. These people do not want to admit that they are in need, desperate or alone - and yes, these people do exist. These people are hungry for connection, to care and be cared about and be inspired. 

Those who are seeking support are rightfully claiming it, in fact I believe it’s their job to claim it. If they don’t, then the battle is already over.  

You didn’t know how your simple comments helped us.

I did not expect the enormity of support and words of encouragement I will receive from friends, relatives, co-workers and most especially from the visitors of this blog, which I will call e-Allies, when they learned that our house was destroyed by typhoon “Ondoy.” 

I felt a particular thrill in the discovery of other people – total strangers in the internet, who took time in writing words of encouragement. 

This is me imitating the poster of a happy child in Gateway Mall, Cubao

In times like that, I felt the almost-instant affinity, like meeting a long-lost friend. I sincerely thank you all for that. You all make a valuable contribution in our recovery.

We are all ok now; things are slowly going back to normal.

Thank you very much my e-Allies and comrades of heart.

The Mousetrap

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.

What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap. Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow and said "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose."

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral; the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

The next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage and help one another.

Killing Energy Vampires - When to give-up friendship

This is my thoughts on giving-up meaningless friendships.

"Lose a Friend, but don't lose the lesson."
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Friends just come and go. Most friendship ends because of time and personal circumstances. However, once in a while you have to deliberately put an end to it.

When a friend is repeatedly questioning your integrity out of some baseless and childish reason, when a friend is asking you to give more responsibility outside the premise of your friendship, when a friend becomes an energy vampire, when you are so annoyed by the constant complaining of your friend about anything under the sun and didn’t accept any reasons from you or any of his or her other friends– then that is the time to put an end to it.

Sometimes, some of your friends will accuse you of dishonesty and will question your integrity. Even if, during the entire friendship, you already confided to them your darkest secret, just listen to them when they need it most and really care for them. During misunderstanding, out of some nonsense, they will show you that they are very hurt and do and say some terrible things about you, when in fact you are the one who’s really hurt by your friend’s lack of consideration and logic.

We must avoid selfish friends who are only concerned about their feelings.

We should also avoid false modesty - like inviting a friend even if we don't like his or her company, for the sake of modesty. That is being untruthful - "oroccan plastic" as they say.

When your friend turned to be an energy vampire, you should immediately decide whether the friendship is worth keeping. Energy vampires are those people whom always will suck-up positive energy of the group by their constant complaining, excessive negativity and pessimism. I realized that people always tend to avoid energy vampires.

I also learned that we should not share the burden of keeping the secret of our friend's friend. “You should also know this because I’m your friend,” is very common to every friendship on the premise that your friend must know the secret of your other friends.

But knowledge should enlighten us, not to give us additional burden. If it is about their private life, doesn’t concern me and will not harm my family, or me, I think it’s better that I should not know.

Friends are everywhere. Sometimes we lose some, and we find more.

If you can’t avoid energy vampires, kill them, just don't lose the lesson.