What Makes Filipino Woman Happy?

What do women want? Freud asked the question nearly 100 years ago and confessed that his "thirty years of research into the feminine soul" left him unable to answer one great question: "What does a woman want?"

This question definitely elicits intense interest among us. That is why statistics is also trying to find answers to this question. Last week, I came across this very interesting article entitled “What makes Women Happy?” by Dr. Romulo A. Virola, Secretary General of the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB).

Dr. Virola reported that women in the Philippines rank food a lot higher than their sex life among the main things that make them happy based on the recent NSCB survey. The poll also concluded that, both Filipino men and women ranked family, health and religion in that order as the three most important things that made them happy.

Pinay respondents, however, put food in fifth place, just ahead of work. Love life came 10th and and sex life at 18th, just one rank above the bottom.

For the Pinoy Machos, love life figured in 6th place and sex life 10th, with food at 9th. So you see ladies? Sex is not the only thing occupying Pinoy’s mind – at least food ranked before sex. Ha ha. 

click image to enlarge

"This is easy to trivialise, but the unmet expectations for love and sex by either partner can surely lead to problems, and must be managed properly and professionally," Virola wrote on the NSCB website.

Naturally, for the poor Filipinos, men ranked their sex, love lives and food at the top while women said family, love life and food were top of their lists.

I’m not a fan of surveys, especially if you’re measuring happiness because we know that different individuals have different definitions and sources of happiness. Maybe they should include sabong, because it makes my Tatay very happy, or videoke singing because we all love to sing.

For the most part of, the results are obvious. These are literal and basic requirements for human needs and happiness – which reminds me of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

How about you, what makes you happy?

________________
Source: Virola, Romulo A. "What Makes Women Happy?"

How To Have A Bad Day

» Wake up late, in a panic

» Rush to get ready

» Dress hurriedly
 

» Don't eat breakfast

» Drink lots and lots of coffee

» Cancel gym schedule

» Spend the day without a plan

» Focus on your failures

» Never smile

» Be selfish and unfriendly

» Criticize, blame, and complain

» Think negative thoughts

» Dictate, direct, command

» Always think about salary increase

» Don't forget to nag

» Don't overlook mistakes

» Grumble

» No time for lunch

» Harbor resentment

» Keep rushing

» Don't communicate

» Keep it all to yourself

» Worry about tomorrow

» Be rigid and cranky

» Post negative/hate status on YM, Twitter or Facebook

» Retire with bad thoughts and a full stomach

____________

Inspirational Story » The Cracked Pot

Today is a perfect-10 Sunday. October 10, 2010 or 10/10/10. It was so rare to have a date like this. Some people believe it's a lucky day, but for me it's the best day to re-think of coming back on track - I seem to be losing track of my goals these past few months. However, I realized that goals are good, but not reaching them isn't the end of world. Hence, I just need to learn to be happy without being perfect. 

Speaking of being perfect, when I noticed the perfect 10/10/10 date, I immediately grab my Jurassic laptop to write about some inspirational rants about the problems of being perfect or something related to narcissism but I seem to run out of ideas. I googled some stuff and came across this story about the cracked pot. I noticed that I haven't added any inspirational story in my collection so instead of writing some narcissistic article, I guess sharing this story will get the message I want to share today. 

The Cracked Pot Story

A water bearer in India had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master's house.  The cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. 

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

Why?" asked the bearer.

"What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house.

Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.

But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side?

That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them.

For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house." 

Yodz' Notes: 

We all have our own unique flaws - Great! That makes us all a cracked pots. But as the above story said, it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. Imagine if all your friends are perfect - that would be terribly boring. We have just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.

Hoping everything will be perfect is an insane way to live. There is nothing perfect in this world, and continually trying to attain perfection leads to so many problems. I never quite feel that everything is OK, and I think that stems from my unreal perception of how the world should be

There is a lot of good out there, there is a lot of good in us! We just have to remember to appreciate all the different people in our life.

So, to all the CRACKED POTS in my life - THANK YOU. You have made my life more interesting and exciting. You all know who you are.

Hope you all have a perfect Sunday, cracked pots!

Share this story on facebook, click the "Like"button. Salamat po!

Happy Coffins Before You Die » How to Leave this World In Style

Would you fancy to ‘leave this world' in style? Leave this transitory life for the eternal afterworld in a colorful and uber-cool coffin that looks like an art canvass or a gift box?

I have previous posts regarding different fashionable ways to kick in the bucket list – wherein we can choose a non-traditional ways of disposing our body or perhaps a customized tombstone. Accordingly, I was amazed by this news in a broadsheet yesterday about a Singaporean charity which announced the winners of an international art competition to design "happy coffins." The aim is to encourage the elderly and dying to celebrate life, with 3,000 US dollars for the first prize winner.

Actually, when I read about it, I immediately googled it and came across thelifebeforedeath.com. The website features quality of death index, a first ever global study on the quality of death across 20 countries. The site also has a dedicated page for the things you could do and say before you die, a bucket list, last playlist and a legacy galley. It also highlights the winning “happy coffin” designs.

Well, I think these coffins are cool, why not?

The Happy Coffins contest

In July 2010 an international art competition was facilitated by online portal for creativity, Eyeka. A total of 733 entries was received from 37 countries. Artists and designers from Asia, Africa, the Americas, Australia and Europe enthusiastically responded to the challenge to get creative with the most unusual of canvasses – the Coffin.

Participants had to design a coffin for a family member, close friend or someone who had been an inspiration. Or they could choose to design their own coffin. Each entry had to be accompanied by a written sharing of the thought process leading to the final design.

Professional designers were presented the challenge of creating 3 personalized coffins for residents of the St. Joseph’s Home & Hospice (Singapore) or for a family member, close friend or someone who had been an inspiration. Or they could choose to design their own. Six winning designs out of 733 entries from 37 countries were made into personalized coffins in cooperation with a local funeral home. The awesome entries and winners are compiled at the Underground Gallery.

The project was spearheaded by the local Lien Foundation, which favors non-traditional forms of philanthropy. Under the slogan "My Life, My Coffin" the foundation said it wanted to encourage people to think "out of the box" about taboos surrounding death.

The winning designs

First Prize
"Hello Coffin" by Ines Van Gucht, 27 from Belgium

According to Ines

“This coffin is designed for myself so I wanted it to be personal and real.

I have begun thinking about my life, the future, my death and my funeral. These things raise many questions, like – Who will I be? Will I be happy? Will I be happy with what I made of my life? Will there be regrets?

I cannot answer these questions now.  And once I lie in my coffin, I guess these questions won’t matter. The only certainty then is this coffin. That is why I designed my coffin to be my friend - the one who will take care of me after my death.”

Second Prize
"An Inspiring Force" by Ian Lim Wei Ming, 25 from Singapore

According to Ian:

"This coffin is dedicated to my late Art teacher, Ms Ivy Ho Hwee Ting. She passed away in 2002 from Hepatitis B. The image on the coffin is without facial expression because the essence of Ms. Ho’s smiles cannot be replicated in a painting. But her love of sunflowers is clear.

A devoted mentor, she carried on helping us even after she left teaching for further studies. Her love and enthusiasm inspired me to follow in her footsteps and take up design as a career. This coffin is specially created in appreciation of her"

My Pick among the Merit Prize

My Favorite Things in Life by Martin Matera

R.I.P. (Rest In Pride) from Indonesia

Genesis from Indonesia

The Boatman’s Call from  Singapore

Love is Our Life from China

How about you, what would be the design of your coffin? 

16 Funny Things To Ponder About Living in the 21st Century

 1.  The one thing that unites all human beings on the internet, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside we ALL hope that our friends/network will click that "Like" button on our Facebook status.. 

2. There is a very fine line between “Facebook,” "Twitter" and “mental illness.” 

3. The most powerful force in the internet and the whole universe, is gossip. 

4. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one Filipino policeman who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that policeman is crazy. 

5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s gaining weight. 

6. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why your company has not achieved, and never will achieve, its goals, targets or implement plans for salary increase, that word would be “meetings.” 

7. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests and rallies is to annoy people who are not in them. 

8. If God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, that guy on IBC 13, wearing red suit with fake smile who wants to be Philippine President. 

9. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 

10. You should not confuse your LIFE with career and money. 

11. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the fastfood waiters and salesladies, is not a nice person. 

12. Your friends love you, don't doubt that. 

13. Friends come and go, that's normal. If your enemies is accumulating - that's abnormal

14. Nobody cares if you can’t sing well in a videoke bar. Just get up and sing.. 

15. The battle of the sexes ended a few decades ago, too many already betrayed their own and joined the other side. 

16. A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.

Comments, Thoughts? Any additional points to ponder you might want to add?

The Only One Who Understands Love

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.

When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"

Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"

"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh . . . Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder,

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"

"It was Time," Knowledge answered.

"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

Cosplay Mania » Absurd Escapism or Creative Self-expression?

Is cosplay a cool pastime to hone creative self-expression or a nerdy and expensive way to escape pressures of the world? And do you care either way?

I just can’t help but notice this group of teens and adults in amazing anime costume roaming around SM Megamall. I first thought they are the next level Emo, or the evolution of them or perhaps it is a cool new social trend or “pauso” like the Jejemons. However, I later learned in an article in the Philippine Daily Inquirer that they are called cosplayers.

CosPlay 101 for the uninformed and misinformed 

What the heck is CosPlay? Sounds like a new online video game or a new Facebook apps like Farmville to you? Well, no. CosPlay is a combination of two words: “Costume” and “Roleplay.” Therefore, a Cosplayer is a geeky, not necessarily good-looking somebody who assumes the role of a character from an anime show, a video game, comics, manga, comic series, movies or TV series. These cosplayers step into the shoes of the characters that have inspired them or they think is really cool and copy their costumes, prosthetics, make-up, hair and uber-cool accessories. Here’s what really surprised me, cosplayers not only have to look like characters, they have to act like, sound like and essentially be the characters they portray down to the last giggle.

Cosplayers at the mall

There is this issue among cosplay elders as to how and when this social phenomenon really started. However, they seem to agree on one thing – the origin of the word Cosplay. Most of the elders agree that the journalist Noboyuki Takahashi, first coined the term in the article “My Anime,” after attending the 1984 World Science Fiction Convention and seeing a bunch of Trekkies (Star Trek fans) strutting their stuff. From there, cosplay has evolved into a subculture among enthusiasts of anime, manga, comics, movies and basically everything fun and fictional under the sun and elevated into an art form and subculture in various countries. In the Philippines, the popularity of cosplay has also spiked in the last few years.

Cosplay and The Modern Escapist 

"I have claimed that Escape is one of the main functions of fairy-stories, and since I do not disapprove of them, it is plain that I do not accept the tone of scorn or pity with which 'Escape' is now so often used. Why should a man be scorned if, finding himself in prison, he tries to get out and go home? Or if he cannot do so, he thinks and talks about other topics than jailers and prison-walls?"

-- J.R.R. Tolkien--

I'm no card-carrying psychologist or sociologist, but I can tell you roughly on the observations I made that cosplay is now part of the modern escapism. Mr. Webster defines escapism as the habitual diversion of the mind to purely imaginative activity or entertainment as an escape from reality or routine.

I’m sure you will agree that the world in which we live is full of stress, threats, constant noise, irritating soap operas, unhealthy fast-food junks, dizzying billboards, and overnight facebooking. Hence, we all need to escape – to refocus our attention on things pleasant or enjoyable, as opposed to the hard realities of the everyday world. When we are stressed we want nothing more than escapism, and cosplay certainly offers that for others.

It is nice to add a bit of fantasy to an otherwise boring or stressful world. Yet, translating someone’s fantasy into reality can be tricky. I don’t know if parents should really get worried about their teens’ expressing strong desire to live in fantasy world of anime, perhaps they should consider that as healthy and part of today’s social reality. And that the desire to 'escape' is part of the complicated process of discovering ourselves.  I think we are all escapist in different ways. 

This is where I got myself into the most trouble-of-judgement. I failed both to understand how important the notion of escape is to many cosplayers and to clarify the exact type of escape I was addressing. I admit that many Filipinos nowadays participate in cosplay not mainly to avoid their own personal wars such as their jobs, relationships, school pressure and other life hassles, but rather to have fun, compete, and even make a living.

The Magical World of the Escapist

"Harry goes off into this magical world, and is it any better than the world he's left? Only because he meets nicer people. Magic does not make his world better significantly. The relationships make his world better. Magic in many ways complicates his life."

--J.K. Rowling--

Is there a difference between healthy and unhealthy escapism? In today’s reality, we cannot do our ancestor’s way of escapism – which is telling stories around the fire or do writing on the caves. We now escape the woes of the world by reading books, watching soap operas and movies, browsing the internet, blogging and so on and so forth.

As I said earlier, cosplay is a new and modern form of escapism. Unlike other forms of escapism, cosplay is much more involved. Other “characters” are directly playing in their magical world, interacting using their assumed personality. Events, such as regular conventions and gatherings, also take place in this new form of escapism that is directly dependent on the authors of the anime characters.

Fantasy Self and the Anime World

Anime cosplayers' photo-op during a convention

 Therein causes the problems of the cosplayers. This is just my theory OK. The assumed character, which I will call the Fantasy Self begins to rival the real world. Because of the sheer complexity and magic of the anime world, the Fantasy Self may continue to rely on the cosplay as his or her form of escapism. There is a possibility that the Fantasy Self will treat the anime world as a large part of the person’s real life and may dominate the real world.

When the anime world becomes part of the their real world, any stress from the anime world will be brought with them when they enter the real world. Now, no longer does the cosplayer have to be concerned with only real world, but also must be concerned with the happenings in the anime world. Such cosplayer are those who come home so stressed and depressed after attending a cosplay convention – when it is supposed to be just a fun day walking around in costume and be someone extraordinary for a day.

The Collapse of the Fantasy Self and Real Self

 The other possibility that might occur with prolonged stay in the anime world as a form of escapism is the collapse of the Fantasy Self into the Real Self. I repeat, this is just a possibility, I’m not a psychologist – but I do read psych books – and it’s just my theory. This is the situation when the cosplayer loans money to buy costumes, skip classes or work to attend cosplay conventions, and if they started claiming that cosplay is more than just costumes. Actions such as these are clear demonstrations of where the cosplayer’s priorities lie.

The trouble with this sort of collapse is apparent. As their real lives are no longer the focus of their attention, their grades in school will falter, their health will falter, their performance at work will falter as will their social lives – often sacrificing time with friends and family for time with cosplaying.   

The Cut-off Point

I guess the cut-off point is whether it can be a healthy means for not getting completely depressed by reality, and on the other side, in its extreme form, whether it results in obsessive behaviors that make people completely ignore reality to their detriment.

After all, I'm not the final arbiter of what counts as healthy or unhealthy, and more importantly, I can't claim to know everything about cosplay- I am not a cosplayer myself. I just want to give my comments and learn surprising things about what is happening around me. For people who are more extreme than I am, I respect their choice to be that, just as I hope they respect my theories and opinions I make regarding my observations or what I prefer to keep as leisurely pastimes.

I can safely conclude that Cosplay, can be a healthy form of escapism and a great opportunity in developing creativity and self-confidence. Of course, extremes have bad effects.

Any thoughts from your Fantasy Self?

_______________________

References: [compiled by the author: Yodz de Veas Insigne]

» Manifold, Marjorie C. "Culture Convergence or Divergence? Spontaneous Art-making and Participatory Expression in the Private and Collective Lives of Youth." [Retrieved 14 July 2010]

» Grossman, Lev "J.K. Rowling Hogwarts And All" Time Magazine [Retrieved 14 July 2010]

» Ellis-Christensen, Tricia. "What is Escapism?" [Retrieved 14 July 2010]

» Servando, Kristine. "Pinoy Cosplay craze getting bigger, better" ABS-CBN News. [Retrieved 14 July 2010]

» Jee, Yein. "Origin of the word cosplay"  [Retrieved 14 July 2010]

» Winge, Theresa. "Emerging Worlds of Anime and Manga - Costuming the Imagination: Origins of Anime and Manga Cosplay"  MECHADEMIA Vol. 1 Copyright 2006 University of Minnesota Press: 68

» Bruno, Michael. "Cosplay: The Illegitimate Child of SF Masquerades" [Retrieved 14 July 2010]

Are You A Duck or an Eagle?

Years ago, my friend, Harvey Mackay, told me a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point. He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey . He handed my friend a laminated card and said: "I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement." Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: "To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment."

This blew Harvey away, especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, "Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf." My friend said jokingly, "No, I'd prefer a soft drink." Wally smiled and said, "No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice." Almost stuttering, Harvey said, "I'll take a Diet Coke." Handing him his drink, Wally said, "If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today."

As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card. "These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio." And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

"Tell me, Wally," my amazed friend asked the driver, "have you always served customers like this?" Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. "No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day. He had just written a book called "You'll See It When You Believe It". 

Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. 

Don't be a duck. Be an eagle.
Ducks quack and complain.
Eagles soar above the crowd.

"That hit me right between the eyes," said Wally. "Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more." "I take it that has paid off for you," Harvey said. "It sure has," Wally replied. "My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it.

You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action." Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call.

The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting. Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice... He decided to stop quacking like the ducks and start soaring like the eagles.

No one can make you serve customers well. You make the choice. That's because great service is a choice.
___________________
Another powerpoint presentation I made for my boss.

Here's the link to download: Are You a Duck or an Eagle Powerpoint Download 

Are you a Carrot, an Egg, or Coffee Bean?

Click Play to view slides

This story was included in the speech of my boss in one of our company event during the height of the global financial crisis which focus on the right attitude during hardship.

I was asked to prepare the powerpoint slides for the story which I want to share here. Although the financial crisis is almost over, I am still inspired by this story.

Here is the complete text of the story:

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life, and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it, and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil.

In the first pot, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she, turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to smell and sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity- boiling water-but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter.
"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a break-up, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or, am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation.

Like when there’s economic problem, you’d rather find remedies instead of whining and complaining.

How do you handle adversity?
Are you a CARROT, an EGG, OR a COFFEE BEAN?

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just MAKE the most of everything; that comes along their way.

_____________________

Here's the link to view the slides :  Are you a Carrot,, an Egg, or Coffee Bean?

Contact me if you you want to download and edit the complete presentation. 

The Flaw

There was once a learned scientist.. 

After a lot of practice and efforts, he developed a formula and learned the art of reproducing himself. He did it so perfectly that it was impossible to tell the reproduction from the original.

One day while doing his research, he realized that the Angel of Death was searching for him. In order to remain immortal he reproduced a dozen copies of himself.
The reproduction was so meticulous that all of them looked exactly like him. Now when this Angel of Death came down, he was at a loss to know which of the thirteen before him was the original scientist, and confused, he left them all alone and returned back to heaven.

But, not for long, for being an expert in human nature, the Angel came up with a clever idea. He said to the scientist addressing all thirteen of them, "Sir, you must be a genius to have succeeded in making such perfect reproduction formula of yourself. However, I have discovered a flaw in your work, just one tiny little flaw."

The scientist immediately jumped out and shouted, Impossible! where is the flaw?" "Right here" said the Angel, as he picked up the scientist from among the reproductions and carried him off.

The whole purpose of the scientist and his formula of reproduction failed as he could not control his pride and lost his life.

So while one's Knowledge and Skills takes one to the top of the ladder and makes one successful, however the three letter word "EGO" can pull one down immediately.

The Sound of One Hand Clapping

The master of Kennin temple was Mokurai, Silent Thunder. He had a little protégé named Toyo who was only twelve years old. Toyo saw the older disciples visit the master's room each morning and evening to receive instruction in sanzen or personal guidence in which they were given koans to stop mind-wandering.

Toyo wished to do sanzen also.

"Wait a while," said Mokurai. "You are too young."

But the child insisted, so the teacher finally consented.

In the evening little Toyo went at the proper time to the threshold of Mokurai's sanzen room. He struck the gong to announce his presence, bowed respectfully three times outside the door, and went to sit before the master in respectful silence.

"You can hear the sound of two hands when they clap together," said Mokurai. "Now show me the sound of one hand."

Toyo bowed and went to his room to consider this problem. From his window he could hear the music of the geishas. "Ah, I have it!" he proclaimed.

The next evening, when his teacher asked him to illustrate the sound of one hand, Toyo began to play the music of the geishas.

"No, no," said Mokurai. "That will never do. That is not the sound of one hand. You've not got it at all."

Thinking that such music might interrupt, Toyo moved his abode to a quiet place. He meditated again. "What can the sound of one hand be?" He happened to hear some water dripping. "I have it," imagined Toyo.

When he next appeared before his teacher, he imitated dripping water.

"What is that?" asked Mokurai. "That is the sound of dripping water, but not the sound of one hand. Try again."

In vain Toyo meditated to hear the sound of one hand. He heard the sighing of the wind. But the sound was rejected.

He heard the cry of an owl. This was also refused.

The sound of one hand was not the locusts.

For more than ten times Toyo visited Mokurai with different sounds. All were wrong. For almost a year he pondered what the sound of one hand might be.

At last Toyo entered true meditation and transcended all sounds. "I could collect no more," he explained later, "so I reached the soundless sound."

Toyo had realized the sound of one hand.

Yes, There are Dumb Managers

Once during a Management training program, a team of Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So these Managers went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.

They're falling off the ladders, dropping the measuring tape - the whole thing is just a mess.

An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers,
Re-erects the flagpole and walks straight-away.

After the Engineer has gone, one Manager turns to another and laughs …

"Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length!"

Moral : No matter what good you do, Some managers can always find fault in you.

Is your manager or boss a fault-finder (and dumb)? You can [anonymously] curse him/her on the comments section below.

Are you living your life as an adventure?

I consider my life as a continuous adventure of risk-taking, contentment and successes. But it wasn’t always that way. During high school, I sensed that there was something bigger in life – something exciting and fulfilling – but I didn’t know how to go about getting it. Growing up in a small town in Occidental Mindoro where the norm was waiting for the day to be over, I strive to have a different way of life. I try my best to be an achiever – salutatorian of my high school class, a full government scholar during college and now striving to finish Graduate school. I’m not trying to brag here, it’s just that I thought that worldly success alone would bring me what I am searching for.

But after seven years of working as an employee, I have to face the hard truth that I am not on the journey I wished and planned. Though my work was sometimes exciting, I still wasn’t living life as an adventure. I always dreamed of being a professional mountaineer, a fiction book author, professional photographer and a teacher with a PhD. However, life doesn’t always go how we wanted it to be.

Sometimes, when I lazily wake up every morning, forcing myself to work, I had these funny thoughts, with a flash of miserable lucidity, that I was just fooling myself, but I did nothing. And for many years, I did nothing but drift. Like a driven leaf, I just do everything expected or demanded of me.

The deterioration of our ambitions

I remembered a phrase by a poet or maybe a Greek philosopher I read somewhere, something like “He who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence.” I was a mass of aspirations and dreams unacted on, of fantasies as unreal as those that awed me during childhood which was mostly spent in the farms. I always wanted to go somewhere, to travel the world perhaps, but suddenly I found myself paralyzed in a rut at the age of twenty-nine – making payments on an apartment room, receiving bonuses – (sometimes at the mercy of the management), going from my boarding house to office, to gym and back to house, going to occasional barkada out-of-town trip but mostly just imagining luxury vacations, daydreaming, escaping through books, blogging and surfing the net.

Working life itself was routine and habit: morning rush, breakfast at the office pantry, check e-mails, morning work routine, buying lunch at Lola Payat and Lola Simangot’s carinderia (that’s the name we gave to our nearby office carinderia), exchanging jokes about sex, clitorology and gossips at lunch, afternoon work routine and a quick barkada chismis before leaving office. Office friendships was surely based on that dismal reality which cost us nothing to share the workplace and life’s irony with which we viewed the mediocrity of our lives and the deterioration of our ambitions. In a company, where there is no such thing as internal career advancement but merely a training ground, we see in the other the mirror of our insufficiency. With identical correctness, we carried out our duties as employees, always voicing out the overwhelming sarcasm of our conversations - blaming HR, attacking Healthcare policies, complaining about unjustified salaries, etc. – but always never intended for a true complaint (maybe that’s how the corporate world works).

The curious case of Mang Frank

I remember Mang Frank (may he rest in peace). Funny old guy, started as a Recruitment Assistant, served a forced retirement (still in the same position) after serving almost half of his working years in this company and died broke the following year. I imagine him telling me, while sitting in front of his favorite old noisy typewriter: “Don’t get stuck in this rut, don’t let what happened to me happen to you, get out while you can – don’t cave in!”

I am hired in this company as his replacement but I actually avoided him on his last few weeks because I was so bored with the tedium of his increasingly disjointed stories, his detailed account of the intrigues and tricks he was victim of in the office and his very detailed sexual escapades. The years went by, I am just thankful I am not in that position anymore but still in the same group of companies. I go to work every morning, pay my monthly bills and trying to stretch the money till the end of every month, which is not always successful – life of a typical bachelor eh? So I was considering looking for a second job to have more savings. In this way I will not give up all the plans that seemed so courageous when I started working: preparing myself for a better career, say, university professor or researcher in some institute. But I didn’t have the time or the will, and my free evenings got away from me without me noticing.

I know what the ghost of Mang Frank would say: “What are you doing? Why haven’t you got out of here? How many more years are you going to take it?”

Once in a while I did go somewhere, but most of the time things doesn’t always go as planned. There are always set-backs and a lot of things to consider.

Life as an Adventure – One step at a time

Then it hit me. This is the adventure. This. This up and down, success and failure, back and forth – all of it is the adventure. All the time that I was looking for what I want, I was learning what it was to live a life of adventure. It wasn’t about being perfect, doing things right, receiving big salary, getting rich and having wild success with no downside. It was risking decisions, stumbling and falling short of my expectations as well as enjoying and building on my own successes.

As the famous Filipino salawikain said, “Habang maiksi ang kumot, matuto kang mamaluktot. Kung mahaba na at malapad saka na mag-unat unat” [Refers to situations when resources are scarce, one should learn to be thrift and adapt].  

My adventure was really just beginning – I’ll just have to take it, one step at a time.

 
P.S.
How about you, are you living your life as an adventure?
Are you satisfied and happy with your current situation?

Please share your personal thoughts on the Comments section below.                   

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Image credit: Desperation by Antonina

Never Wish for A Longer Dick

I don't know why the "male small dick panic" is still an issue nowadays -- Maybe the advent of sexual consumerist culture is to blame. It is a universal assumption, and I say just an assumption, that men know more or less where they stand relative to their peers when it comes to dick size.

Quick Facts (and of course you already know about this):

Average penis size when flaccid – 4 inches
Average penis size when erect – 5.7 inches

It’s a bit bigger than a gorrilla’s 3-inch erection, but then there’s blue whale, the world’s largest mammal that has, a goddamn ten-foot erection.
Some men worry that dick size matters to women and most women vigorously denied that it doesn’t (but I guess some of them secretly wish it’s bigger) – but as they always say “It’s the performance not the size,” so to improve performance we need more practice -- practice makes perfect right? LOL 

And of course communication is very important -- because men are from Mars and women are from Venus communicating man’s wishes to a woman is sometimes confusing. Look at this:

So, if you’re talking to women, especially about your sexual fantasies, BE VERY SPECIFIC. 

And of course as Lao Tzu said, “Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

 

Please share your  thoughts on the comments section.
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Cartoon Source: The Good Fairy 

Contact Yodz for proper cartoon author citation.

The Chick’s Lesson from Shit

This story is inspired by our little farm in Mindoro during my childhood days.

Hope you’ll like it. Here’s my story:

One windy afternoon, as the mother hen and her chicks are hurrying to return to the farmer's nipa hut to avoid the sudden gusts of amihan (or the strong trade winds), one of the chicks decided he doesn’t want to leave the farm yet. “You are all cowards,” he said to the other chicks. “After all, all I have to do is hide under the talahib grass to avoid the sudden gusts of amihan.” 

Soon, however, strong amihan winds blow and he realized he cannot make it to the talahib grass to hide. The first wind gust throws him nearby a rushing river with grazing carabaos. He realized that, just another wind blow will throw him in the river and will mean instant drowning. 

He just closed his eyes just as he heard the coming wind, buzzing like bees. Just seconds before the strong wind came; a carabao walked by and shits directly over the chick. The carabao’s shit covered the chick’s body, saving his life. 

He was very happy to be alive and he happily chirped and tweeted, until a passing eagle noticed him. The eagle quickly do a deadly aerial dive towards him, clawed him out of the shit and ate him.

So what’s my point here?

• Well first, those who throw shits on us are not necessarily our enemy.

• Second, not everyone who help us get out of the mess is necessarily our friends. 

Do you agree? Please share you story on the comments section.

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Image Credit:  Dmitriy Polyakov's Illustration