Dear SmartBro, I need You, Now Na! » Why subscribing to Smart Bro NOW is as exciting as playing Angry Birds

So I woke up today on a rainy Sunday morning, stay curled up on my bed, shirtless and feeling so comfy with my oversized boxer brief suddenly thinking about whether the world will really end in 2012, and whether Lady Gaga is really human while staring at the albino lizard on my wall. But before I could ask my lizard roommate, it ran off. Probably got scared with that morning hump on my baggy boxer brief. This part of the day, this “angry-bird morning salute,” which is of course is a natural morning phenomenon for guys (but a miracle for viagra-dependent baby boomers) usually bewilders me.

But enough of that – I have that tendency to entertain trivial things in the morning – so I grab my smartphone to check what’s on my Google calendar and Active Tasks to check what’s on for today.

To my surprise, my calendar has no saved entries I’m feeling weird because I’m supposed to go somewhere today. I felt like I’m missing something.

Then there’s this one item on my Astrid Active Task – finish level 4 of Angry Birds and look for golden eggs. I guess I have to ponder on that one. Yes, I ‘m spending an embarrassing amount of time entangled in crashing funny birds into some green sardonic pigs.

My Angry Birds addiction

Here comes Yodz.. weeeee!!

Angry Birds is simple and perfect, with cute graphics, sneering characters and funny sounds. I love those little “wheeee!” and “ngorrk ngoorrk” whenever you slingshot your angry-yet-funny birds at those grinning green pigs.

Since I don’t have anything to do and playing my angry bird is a little too early – oopps, I mean playing Angry Birds, the android game, not that other angry bird – I grab my laptop and connect my prepaid SmartBro to check on the latest news, update my blog and bloghop, connect on my Facebook friends and spy on my favorite celebrities on Twitter.

On being disconnected

To my horror, my Smart Bro doesn’t have any pre-paid credits left! Oh my gulay, this is a tsunami like disaster. Hmmmm, should I go out and buy a pre-paid load or just stay home and play Angry Birds. After a millisecond thinking on that one, I decided I’m too lazy going out for re-load.

I don’t have an unlimited home broadband plan yet because I’m convincing myself that I don’t really need it. I just go online from time to time using the SmartBro Unlisurf 50, besides there’s free online connection at our office.

So my plans to do some blogging and Facebook surfing today got shot to heck. I couldn’t update myself with what’s happening outside. Couldn’t do much of anything really, except play Angry Birds.

Sabi ko na nga, I’m forgetting something

Killing my forgetful self

“Wer U na!” that was the text message I received late in the afternoon from a long lost former co-worker and a friend.

Irritated, I replied, “Wag ka magulo, naghahanap ako ng golden eggs.”

“What! mag start na ang binyag! San ka na ba?” my friend quickly replied.

“Anong binyag?” I asked, totally confused.

“I tagged you in our invitation sa Facebook, di ba nag LIKE ka? I also sent event reminders this morning in FB,” replied my friend obviously pissed off.

Then it hit me. Today is the baptism of my long lost friend’s first daughter and I’m invited as Ninong.

I managed sending a quick reply ”K, I’ll b der.” To do that, I need to hurry. I didn’t have time to brush my teeth and shower so I just gargled a mouthful of Oracare and wash my face, changed into something formal and run.

News black-out

I can’t find a cab so I decided riding a jeep instead.

“Makikiabot nga po” I said while handing out my seven pesos. I was imagining my friend so angry at me like those black bomb Angry Birds annihilating green pigs if I didn’t make it to the church.

Then I heard the driver saying “Hoy kulang bayad mo!” It can’t be me because I know that I gave seven pesos which is the minimum fare, so I look at the girl beside me who stared back with that Sen. Mirriam Santiago angry look as if saying “how dare you!”

Then I realized they are all staring at me, so the driver is really talking to me.

I confidently said “Siyete po yung inabot ko”

“Hindi ka ba nanonood ng balita, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, kulang ka pa ng piso!” said the irritated-andropausal driver.

I just handed additional one peso without saying any word, feeling totally humiliated – because yes, I’m not watching TV because all they got is bad news and I don’t have home broadband plan or home Wi-fi to regularly check my e-mail news subscription.

When I regained consciousness and came back to the physical world, I remembered that I need Superman or a teleporting power to make it to the church – because the event is in Antipolo. Poor old me.

I just sent my usual alibi to my friend saying, there’s an urgent matter came up at work so I can’t make it.

I know my friend didn’t believe me.

A personal note to my friend

Yes, I know my friend, you wanna do this to me

Even if I apologized to you a few times, I know you are still disappointed. It’s an important event for you and your firstborn and I didn’t give it any importance.

I wanted to explain what really happened, but I can’t say it to you in person. What will I say? I didn’t make it because I’m playing Angry Birds? Because I don’t have internet pre-paid load and didn’t got your reminder on Facebook?

I know that sound so silly but admittedly that’s the real reason and it’s kind of senseless at the same time.

I know you’re lurking here sometimes, and I want you to read this. Just poke me on Facebook and let’s talk about this over bottles of beer. All charges are on me.

I need SmartBro Home Broadband Plan – Now na!

There’s more to Facebook than reading our friends status update - every meal eaten, every TV show and movie watched, every rainy days experienced (which is of course obnoxious most of the time). Facebook is also being used in sending invitations for family and personal events. You just have to design one invitation card, upload it and tag everybody. Maybe it lacks personal touch but it’s the trend nowadays.

There was no intentionally forgetting that event of my friend. So, what I’m thinking now is how can I prevent that from happening again. Time is valuable and I later realized that I need to be constantly connected now.

I need SmartBro Home Broadband Plan NOW not only to be constantly connected with friends and family but because of other personal reasons:

1. The need to share and write: Lately I decided to take blogging seriously. I don’t know but somehow I find it therapeutic, stress relieving and fun. Who knows maybe someday I can make a career out of blogging.
2. The need to be informed: It’s really important not only to avoid embarrassing moments but also to keep in touch with the physical world. I don’t watch TV and I don’t want to buy newspaper everyday. Why buy it when you can read news online?
3. The need to finish workloads: Although I hate bringing work at home, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.
4. The need to be connected with family and friends: I know you can still be connected with them through mobile phones but still the internet is so far the best medium.
5. It’s no longer a luxury but a necessity: I think I’m already at this stage.

Subscribing to SmartBro Home Broadband Plan NOW is like having the Angry Birds’ Golden Eggs

As I’ve said, having constant and reliable connection to the internet right now is no longer a luxury but a necessity. It may depend on everybody’s personal situation and needs but I can safely say that most of us do.

Timing is also perfect because if we subscribe to SMART BRO Unlimited Home Broadband Plan 999 or 1995 now, we can have this amazing freebies:

• Free All-In-One HP Printer
• FREE Call and Texts with SMART Gold Lite Plan 300 for 6 months subscription
• Free 1 month broadband subscription

Not only that, with the SMART BRO Unlimited Home broadband, we can surely get consistent surf speed and stable signal.

I learned that this Smart BRO Unlimited Home broadband promo is from March 4 to June 4, 2011 only and this probably will not happen again so we better grab the opportunity.

I’m sure subscribing to SMART BRO Unlimited Home Broadband Plan 999 or 1995 now is like having all those golden eggs in Angry Birds.

Got any related Angry Birds experience? Comments? Thoughts?

I’ll definitely appreciate it if you could share that on my comment section

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* For further inquiries about the promo, you may visit the nearest SMART Wireless Center or any SMART BRO accredited agents.

Per DTI-NCR Permit No. 1871, Series of 2011.

Get Loud! » Me Being Me is Being Loud

Although I’m not Chinese but partly, I also joined in the celebration of the Chinese New Year. I send out Kung Hei Fat Choi greetings and received boxes of sweet tikoy. Yey, thanks to my boss’ Chinese buddies. This celebration coincide with the love month so there’s red red red everywhere – and lots of rabbits too, playboy! So I guess this is the perfect time to get LOUD!!!

Uh, I didn’t hear that - what’s that again? A perfect time to get laid?

NO! I said LOUD not LAID you green rabbit! That’s what you get by watching fireworks too close our putting watusi inside your ears.

What do I mean by being loud

Last year is a crazy year for me (because I’m crazy most of the time.) I mean, my 2010 was super fun. Because, you know what, while scratching my balls one hot afternoon, I realize that sometimes the only way to have a life is to commit to it like crazy. Life is short (maybe that’s why size doesn’t matter). I don’t know how but, time flies. When it’s over, it’s over. So why get so seeeeriouzzz eh? Be LOUD, be happy, be kalog, be with me..he he. Because this year, I intend to be LOUDER!!!

I’m not talking about life after death here. I reserved that topic to Bro. Mike Velarde. Ask him, but don’t forget to bring white hanky and an upside down umbrella.

My point here is to live life, have fun. Be you! That is being loud. This is what I’ll do this year, so watch out.

Me being Me is being Loud

You don’t have to be a philosopher to know some absolute truth. Such as, nobody can make his or her anus smelling fresh all the time or nobody cares if your pubic hair is curly – who wants it straight by the way.

Here’s another truth. On a strict 20th century thinking, who you are and what you want to project doesn’t matter. My point here is, we can’t sacrifice our everyday happiness because of some “status” we are maintaining or some “image” we are protecting.

So here’s what I will do. I will just allow myself to be who I am. I’ll do what brings me joy. Me finding my bold dreams and going after them.

No one will remember me anyway. I might as well stop trying to fit in, stop striving hard, stop pushing, stop being a victim of circumstances and just allow myself to be LOUD and do what I want to do and what makes myself happy.

Being Loud is Being Happy and making others happy

We don’t have that much time left so why worry. This year, I’m also planning to do more videos like this:

That's crazy me on the left side, together with my kulit buddies.

Dreaming Out Loud

This year I will also talk about how I will pursue my outrageous dreams and plans even though others might laugh. Of course it’s not about world peace and saving the world. It’s kindda trivial because I’m planning to have a third career (as if I have one now, ha ha). Details of it will be discussed on my future posts. But still it is my dream and I dare to claim it and commit to it.

Scheming Out Loud

Damn yes, I’m still single. People always make it a big deal but so what. Since I’m planning to be bolder and louder this year I’m planning to kill my torpe self and ask that girl on a date. Yes, that cute former classmate of mine from grad school.

She might reject me, but who cares. No one will remember little unimportant me anyway.

Change is scary. However I have to face my fears and do it anyway. It is scarier to stay stuck where I don’t belong. I don’t want to be like a fish babbling wordless nonsense.

At this point I want to call J-Lo to sing for us…. Calling J-lo hello, where are you.

Alright, I think I’ll just have to sing this.. C’mon join me people!!!

If you want to live your life

Live it all the way and dont you waste it

Every feeling, every beat can be so very sweet

You got to taste it, you got to do it

You got to do it your way

You got to prove it

You got to mean what you say

C'mon people let's get loud

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Bottled Drink With No Preservatives? » Minute Maid's Wonderful Pulpy Reality

I just drank a bottle of Minute Maid Pulpy. They say it’s got ‘no preservatives added’. Aw, c’mon…It’s bottled juice. Is that even possible? So I thought maybe... it's just another ad campaign trick  in the market, which we all know is already exploding with lots of ad gimmicks such as beverages that promises weight loss, fruit juices that can make your skin whiter or aerated drinks that can boost your energy. And now, a bottled drink with no preservatives added? That is really clever.  

I didn’t believe it the first time I heard it’s got no preservatives added.  So I read the ingredients (even the fine print) and everything checked out! It really has NO PRESERVATIVES ADDED!  That means it doesn’t have ingredients that may turn out to be allergens, or worse...carcinogens!  Whew! Now that’s healthy goodness that tastes so good, I...  must say this is a wonderful pulpy reality that deserves to be patronized. I was looking for a refreshing drink which had no fizz in it; and Minute Maid Pulpy is exactly what I want. If I didn’t got it in a bottle I would’ve thought it was freshly squeezed. Totally amazing!

So okay, it’s got no preservatives added. That’s really good, right?  Not just because it doesn’t have those icky, harmful ingredients, but it also means... gone are the days that I still need to squeeze the orange to make it a yummy fruit juice - great for always-on-the-go guy like me. This is really a drink with a new twist... Hooray!

So far anyone who still has a hard time believing that Minute Maid has got no preservatives added - meaning it's THAT natural, it's almost like it's plucked straight from the tree, it's just as Mother Nature wanted your orange juice to be, it's got nothing but the good stuff yes, none of those potentially toxic stuff that can harm your brain, kidneys, heart; cause tumors aargh- the list of preservatives' bad effects just go on!!! Anyway, just to prove a point on just how good Minute Maid Pulpy is 'cause it's got NO PRESERVATIVES ADDED, I'm gonna gonna buy a dozen Mango-Orange Minute Maid Pulpy for my sister who, a few weeks ago, gave birth to her first son. Of course I'm also  gonna stack our fridge with a week's supply of this health drink so that I can enjoy a refreshing juice drink every meal. It's always good to know that this pulpy juice I  enjoy is not harmful to my body.    

Feels good to know about the real pulpy deal, right? C’mon show me a smile on the comment box, and you might win yourself a Really Pulpy Deal! (That’s a chance to win a Minute Maid gift pack simply by commenting. Sweet! C'mon you just might be picked as the lucky 'commentor'!)

Love,

Yodz

I Support Manny Pacquiao, the World’s #1 Boxer, just like Head and Shoulders, the World’s #1 Shampoo!

[SBECKNTKQZRG] I’m not actually a boxing fanatic, but I do watch fights if it’s Manny Pacquiao on the ring. His fights never fail to amaze me especially when he is dropping bombs on the ring and making his speedy antics.

Of course Pacquiao is our favorite here, and rightly so, he’s earned it. He contributed pride and glory to our nation and may be considered the country’s greatest boxer. Hopefully I could watch his coming fight with Margarito. We Filipinos should be very proud of Manny Pacquiao and we may not have another boxer of his stature in probably 10-20 years.

Let us try to be decent human beings, forget about his politics and give what is due to Manny.I cannot hardly wait to see this David and Goliath showdown this coming November 14 – hopefully I can get tickets to Cuneta Astrodome.

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Get a chance to watch the Pacquiao-Margarito match at the Cuneta Astrodome with a friend on November 14, 2010 via Nuffnang

Horray!! I Won the Best Blog Category for the Enervon Hapontukin Contest

Wow, I guess I’m really lucky today – Friday the 13th. I thought this day will gonna be a usual boring Friday. However, when I checked the Nuffnang site, I saw my name on their latest announcement – my blog post “The Rise and Fall of the Hapontukin » 7 ½ Tips on How to Avoid Snoozing on the Job” won the Best Blog Category.

The prize – The Spa Volcanic Rock Massage. Really cool eh?

This is my second time in joining a blog contest – the first is my entry “The School of Life and My Shoes” for The Red Shoe Blog Contest. Unfortunately I failed to beat other bloggers on that one. Nevertheless, I love that post and the comments I received on that one really inspired me to write more.

I never thought blogging could be this fun – and rewarding!

Thank you Nuffnang and Enervon for the appreciation of my humble blog. Congratulations also to the other two winners – Richard & Marvin

Here’s the link to the official Hapontukin winner announcement: Hapontukin Contest Winner 

I will update this post after the mini Awarding Ceremony on August 24, 2010 at the Nuffnang Office.

The Rise and Fall of the Hapontukin » 7 ½ Tips on How to Avoid Snoozing on the Job

One rainy afternoon, I finally decided to finish the report my boss was asking a few months ago. I started typing, then suddenly stopped, and gave a big powerful tornado-forming yawn. Then I find myself staring at the cursor like a snake in trance. I didn’t move while the vertical cursor blinked a million times. I suspect Microsof Word is doing something evil to me – the cursor was hypnotizing me. The cool air-con breeze touched my skin. I blinked and then blinked again. The blinking becomes slow and slower and slower like that slow motion scene in the movies. I felt my eyelids turned into leather with my eyes as heavy as bowling balls.

The computer monitor is calling me, whispering “Come inside, they are waiting for you…come my child..forget the report…come..”

The Fight with the Cursor

I can’t help it, my head was slowly leaning forward - slowly slowly. I’m fighting it and managed to sit up straight, but then it happened again. This time the cursor was blinking faster and the monitor was eerily glowing, magnetizing my head. Again, my head slowly lean forward to the monitor, I fight it again but the fight lasted only for a minute. The cursor won. I closed my eyes, and collapsed into the keyboard, ready for a short journey to eternity.

I felt a hand touching my shoulder pulling me back to reality. Like a startled wide-eyed tarsier, I came back to reality. At my back is the most terrifying warlord I ever known – the person I call Boss.

“What are you doing? Where is the report?” the towering Mr. Boss growled.

I checked the computer monitor and I magically saw that I already produced 5,6987 pages. But it was filled with unintelligible characters like Russian codes or an Egyptian ancient curse, because my head hits the @!$%*&))==_  keyboard keys.  

The Attack of the Absent-minded Hapontukin

Lost for words I thought of saying, “Oh, hi Boss, I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands."

But I saw my left hand holding my eyeglasses, so I just continue staring. Mr. Boss saw what’s on the screen and took a very deep breath, gathering all his magical powers to blow me into pieces. My mind rummaged for some magical spell to counter my impending doom.

While my off-white phlegmatic saliva was still slowly falling down the side of my mouth, I thought I whispered “Boss, I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."

Mr. Boss just gave a deep-frustrated sigh and left.

I succeeded in sending the warlord away, but I know deep down in my pitiful slave heart that the battle has just began.

Are you a Hapontukin Too?

I am a certified Hapontukin (palaging inaantok tuwing hapon) or always sleepy in the afternoon. It’s a condition where you don’t have enough energy to last you through the day. Maybe you are also experiencing it once in a while.

The most obvious reason for afternoon drowsiness is lack of sleep, which can have a variety of causes. In my case, it is because of too much Facebooking or late night blogging or a mild hang-over. I know that’s bad for health, so I’m trying to limit those activities in the evening. However, sometimes we really need to stay awake late at night to finish some important stuff, which causes a terrible Hapontukin moment the following day. 

In the corporate world, we always have Mr. Boss who always have their noses smoking with rage if they see a Hapontukin employee because, of course it’s a business and they didn’t want to pay the price of our on-the-job-snoozing in the form of lost productivity. Also, it will badly affect our performance evaluation, hence we have to do something to stay awake and finish our deliverable. We also know that sleeping on the job can be risky to the point that it can cost us our job.

Therefore, it is a must for us to do something to help us get a steady energy and avoid Hapontukin moments.

7 and ½ Tips on How to Avoid Snoozing on the Job

Here are my personal tips on how to beat Hapontukin Moments:

When hapontukin sets in, I take funny pictures with my co-worker, make a quick video clip, do some clean-up, engage in a quick chat – the spiderman style, and take a magic pill.

1. Grab your camera and take funny pictures – Pretend you need graphics for the company brochure, newsletter, company website or a powerpoint presentation and ask co-employees to take a pose for you. Of course lots of them will be more than willing to help you. Here are some of our samples.

Yodz babysitting an emo accountant

May the best girl win

Where have you been slave dwarf?

Arrrgg!!! I'm giving birth to a witch!

2.  Create your own version of  “Sadako Movie” or “The Matrix” - or whatever movie or painting you like. Be creative. A quick brainstorming about it will definitely make your hanpontukin moment go away. 

Where is Sadako?

The Matrix

3. Help the cleaning lady - A little courtesy help in sweeping the floor would not hurt your pride. If you can’t do it, at least clean up your cubicle. 

The Matrix superstar turned janitor

4. Quick chat “The Spiderman” style - Prefer quick chatting and gossiping face to face, do not do it via e- mail, phone, SMS or Yahoo Messenger when you can easily jump up to your co-workers. 

Hey buddy what's the new chismis?

5. Photocopy yourself – Well, yeah, you can do it once in while but I’m actually not recommending it. But it’s fun – give it a try. 

Can you please make 500 copies of me?

6. Create a quick video clip using your phone camera – Ask your co-workers (who are sleepy too) to join you in making a dance clip. Some caution: shoot it in a place where others will not be distracted, such as the elevator or in the office pantry.

Please watch our short video clip entitled “Ang mga pokpok na lumilipad, minamahal ni Yodz”

7½. Take a magic pill - Most of these previous tips are just temporary solutions to afternoon Hapontukin. Nothing beats regular exercise and a balanced, nutritious diet in keeping our body healthy and lively. Also, taking multivitamins has always provided us with essential vitamins we need to help maintain good health and energy. But not all vitamins are alike, what we need is a Multivitamins with special combination of vitamins called Steadi-Energy Complex which can provide us with lasting energy (tuluy-tuloy na energy) throughout the day. This steadi-energy is important most especially if there are so many things to do at work. By the way, that 1/2 is for extra energy.

If we treat our body properly, it will work like a well-oiled machine whether day, night, or afternoon. It may even help us in our early promotion.

I definitely agree with Enervon’s campaign “More Energy, Mas Happy.” In this stressful and fast-paced city life, I definitely need Multivitamins Enervon – of course because of its Steadi-Energy Complex vitamin combination. It’s truly a magic energy pill for me. 

Hapontukin bad,
Steady energy – Good!