Reverent Sardonicism - My Other Blog

I edited the header graphics of my other blog today. I find it cool, so I posted it here. Reverent Sardonicism is a collection of inspirational stories and jokes about everything. It was previously titled "Mga Piling Istorya ni Prof. Yodz" but I decided renaming it to Reverent Sardonicism, an irony for reverently laughing at life's cruelty.

Here's the link if you want to check it out : http://istoryahan-ni-yodz.blogspot.com/

How Much Does A Miracle Cost

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding place in the closet.

She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times, even The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big red Indian Chief sign above the door. She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention, but he was too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make a scuffing noise. Nothing. She cleared her throat
with the most disgusting sound she could muster. No good Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the glass counter. That did it!

'And what do you want?' the pharmacist asked in an annoyed tone of voice. I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven't seen in ages,' he said without waiting for a reply to his question. 'Well, I want to talk to you about my brother,' Tess answered back in the same annoyed tone. 'He's really, really sick...and I want to buy a miracle.'

'I beg your pardon?' said the pharmacist.
'His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now So how much does a miracle cost?'

'We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help you,' the pharmacist said, softening a little.

'Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get the rest. Just tell me ho w much it costs.' The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down and asked the little girl, 'What kind of a miracle does your brother need?' ' I don't know,' Tess replied with her
eyes welling up. I just know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money.'

'How much do you have?' asked the man from Chicago 'One dollar and eleven cents,' Tess answered barely audibly. 'And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to.'
'Well, what a coincidence,' smiled the man. 'A dollar and eleven cents---the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. ' He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped her mitten and said 'Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need.'

That well dressed man was Dr. Yodz Insigne, a surgeon, specializing in neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and doing well. Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led them to this place.

'That surgery,' her Mom whispered. 'was a real miracle. I wonder how much it would have cost?'
Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost...one dollar and eleven cents....plus the faith of a little child.

In our lives, we never know how many miracles we will need... A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher law.

All Work and No Play Makes Yodz A Dull Boy

My co-wokers, belonging to generation X and Y, decided to have some barkada night out tonight in Cuba Libre, a cool bar near our office building. It was supposed to be just a casual dinner in SM Megamall but the group thinks that it was too boring so we decided to have some videoke gig and a few bottles of beer instead.

It was nice to have some chill out gig occasionally because monotonous work routine can cause boredom that leads to un-productive mindset. A few bottles of beer, videoke fun and barkada kulitan after work is worth like a week vacation for me.

This is also one thing I learned in my working life – if you do not love your work, love your co-workers. This will make your life easier.

A King-Size Bed As A Reward for Patience & Diplomacy

This event happened last November 16, 2008. I always remember this event in our Boarding House whenever I am in my room so I guess it is worth posting even if its about two months ago.
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One lazy Sunday afternoon while I was taking my luxury nap, I heard a loud hammering outside my room. Irritated because it woke me up, I grudgingly inquire what was happening, and to my horror, I found out that somebody was demolishing my room. Thanked heavens, I managed to keep my temper and diplomatically inquire as to what the hell is he doing?

I remembered that Ms. N., our new house caretaker cum mistress of the owner, informed me that my room would be demolished by the end of the month – suppose to be on the 30th of November, which gives me enough time to pack my things. The previous caretaker, the niece of the owner with a dysfunctional family, was so infuriated by the idea that the owner decided to give full control of the house to his mistress. So Mrs. L., the niece and adopted daughter of the owner, together with her husband Mr. E. – who depends on his wife to feed himself and his son and still living with his mother, was so enraged over the owner’s decision and decided to ransack the whole house. What happened next was a real chaos. They get all the things that they think was their property: from a simple cloth hanger, electric fans, furniture, light bulbs and yes including my room. They said that they installed it, so they must demolish it.

I do understand their rage because that means, now without the house, they have to work hard to earn a living. Unlike before, they will just longingly wait for the 15th and 30th of the month to collect the rent and have their regular drinking session – that is five times a week, believing that that was normal and that they are not yet alcoholic.

Out of their desperation, Mr. E. decided that end of November was too long and decided demolishing my room right at that lazy Sunday while I was taking my luxury cold afternoon nap.

Goddamn it! I know my right. I am religiously paying the monthly rent and they still have my one-month advance payment and one-month cash deposit. They cannot treat me like I am an illegal squatter. I decided to talk to both of them but Mr. E, obviously because of so much anger will not listen to reason and logic. So I insist on talking to the owner, which is by the way staying in the United States.

Anyway, I know Ms. N. is in constant communication with the owner via online webcam – making her an online mistress. So I immediately knock on her room. When she opened the door, I said Hey! Mr. E. is demolishing my room! I want to talk to the owner! To my relief, the owner Mr. J. was online at that moment and she immediately asked me to sit down in front of her webcam and talk to Mr. J. Out of the confusion Ms. N didn’t even closed those porn sites before letting me use her pc. While I was talking to the owner, I can still hear those oohhh! harder baby harder, ahhhh! – because, oh my gums! she was watching a porn video while chatting with the owner when I knocked on her room. Under the active chat window of Mr. J and me are nude pictures in action and partially hidden in the screen is the porn video with an ongoing orgy, in action like acrobats. What d’ fu*# is this girl doing in the middle of the afternoon while the crazy Mr. E is demolishing my room? It gave me terrible goosebumps, but my concern that time was some clarifications about my rights.

The owner promised me that they will install a much better room for me and asked me if I’m willing to temporarily stay in the bedspacer’s room. I agreed because I will only be staying there for two or three weeks and besides it's time that I should know the other new boarders and expand my circle of influence.

In the end, everything goes back to normal. I have a brand new room now. Very comfortable. Very convenient because they even included a small lababo inside the room. And the most important thing is that Mr. J. let me used his king sized bed just for me. Living a nice bachelor's life eh. A-huh, that's right, living single, independent and free in my own room.

Well, life is really getting better. I realized that diplomacy and patience is necessary to get the most out of a terrible and confusing situation.

We should also not try to talk to those people that we know will not listen to reason. Always talk to the right person and never try to argue to the angry one.

Love and Sacrifice

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of him.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company.

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her...

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained.. She did not leave for France at all. She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her ever again.........

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.

Kindness Pays

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only two pesos left, and he was hungry.

He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk.. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Yodz Insigne left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled.. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Yodz! Insigne was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Yodz requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side as she read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Yodz Insigne.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You, GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

Pink EDSA and the Cadena de Amor

When I’m stuck in heavy traffic in EDSA, which is expected as always, I usually detach myself from involving my already stressed self in the godforsaken stressful EDSA. I usually directed my focus on a book or listen to my MP3 player. This famous avenue, symbolizing unity and freedom is more famous for its angry drivers, angry passengers, overloaded and stinking buses, loud FM radio – always tuned in to “Tambalang Balasubas at Balahura,” sometimes funny and most of the time irritating, and of course, the terribly irritating and deafening blowing of horns. I don’t understand why drivers, especially bus drivers, kept on blowing their loud horns for no reason at all. I suggest that there should be a law limiting the number of horn-honking while in EDSA. Like the seatbelt law, a small wire should also be required to be connected to the drivers testicles so that when he exceeded the maximum number of horns per day, a device will blow up his balls, he he he. I’m thinking about this because, today, I’m stuck in terrible heavy traffic in EDSA, without a book to read, and I forgot to re-charge my MP3 player. Huh, bad week to start 2009.

Therefore, I have no choice but to set my system on CYM (Contemplating Yodz Mode). Then suddenly, the pink EDSA and the struggling Cadena de Amor caught my attention.

It was noticeable that MMDA is trying to paint EDSA pink - pink overpass, pink railings, pink signages, pink walls and the most noticeable are the pink and terribly stinking male urinals. And to complete the pink mood, they planted the Cadena de Amor all over EDSA. I’ve heard the “pink scheme” was Bayani Fernado’s idea. By the way, this MMDA chairperson is famous for unconventional traffic schemes, demolishing sidewalk vendors and other street regulations and he already declared his intention to run for public office. I might vote for him, only if he removed those stinking pink male urinals.

I also notice these crawling vines all over the MRT railings and its concrete posts. I think it was planted there to add some green and pleasant pink buds to the gray and angry EDSA. I’ve known this plant, which is called Cadena de Amor, because these vines are growing wild in my grandmother’s backyard during my childhood days in Mindoro. Like the persistent talahib grass, it grows even without tending. Cadena de amor always tries to reach for the top, for the highest and when it reach the top it will crown itself with pink little blossoms.

I don’t know, but its crawling vines, dry and dusty leaves, its tiny little blossoms - no longer pink due to terrible pollution, all reminds me of how hard it is to survive and adapt in the city. I’m thinking of this because, I happen to enjoy the simple life in the province. I only got here in Manila when I started college education.

I find it odd. A wild Cadena de Amor trying to fit in the busiest street in Manila. It kept on crawling higher and higher, clinging on to the highest railing. Its soft tendrils always aiming up, never minding what is happening below. It withstand the pollution, the noise, the stink of human absurdity and other elements trying to prevent it from producing those soft little pink buds.

These buds, its crown of glory and triumph over all the negative elements of life, is trying to teach me how to persevere, how to focus on things that are more important and how to love life.

I now understand that sometimes, the best way to deal with negative elements in our life is just neglecting it. We must never waste emotion and time and get involve on things that is beyond our control.

I guess this is my new year’s resolution for 2009.

To FOCUS and PERSEVERE.