The Legend of Sex

I was amazed by this legend about sex from the book Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho, also the author of the famous book "The Alchemist" [I am a fan of this author by the way], and thought of sharing it here on my blog. I also made some notes about that book around January this year and posted it in my book review blog. I'm not a fan of romance-love-story novels but I never thought sex, as presented throughout the book, could be that philosophical and poetic.

Here's the story:   

According to Plato, at the beginning of creation, men and women were not as they are now; there was just one being, who was rather short, with a body and a neck, but his head had two faces, looking in different directions. It was as if two creatures had been glued back to back, with two sets of sex organs, four legs and four arms.

The Greeks gods, however, were jealous, because this creature with four arms could work harder; with its two faces, it is always vigilant and could not be taken by surprise; and its four legs meant that it could stand or walk for long periods at a time without tiring. Even more dangerous was the fact that the creature had two different sets of sex organs and so needed no one else in order to continue reproducing.

Zeus, the supreme lord of Olympus, said “I have a plan to make these mortals lose some of their strength.”

And he cut the creature in two with a lightning bolt, thus creating the man and women. This greatly increased the population of the world, and, at the same time, disoriented and weakened its inhabitants, because now, they had to search for their lost half and embrace it and, in that embrace, regain their former strength, their ability to avoid betrayal and their stamina to walk for long periods of time and to withstand hard work.

That embrace in which the two bodies re-fuse to become one again is what we call SEX.”

So, what do you think, have you already found your other half?

Have a nice week!
yodz
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Source: (story lifted from the book) Coelho, Paulo. 2004. Eleven Minutes,.New York ,New York:HarperCollins Publisher Inc. ISBN : 0-06-072675-X
Photo Credit : Yuroz "The Touch" Serigraph on Canvas

The Seven Affairs

The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." She looked down at his shoes and said: "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity." So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. "My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"

The 4th Affair A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, and then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said," pretend you're a statue." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.."

The 5th Affair A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked:" How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied. "A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here." The 6th Affair Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!" "I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison work."

The 7th affair A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$150" Man - "Sold." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here" Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove." The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "$350" Man - "Highway robbery. Sold." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy says, "$500" The father
says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now."

The Wedding Finger

EVER WONDERED WHY WEDDING RINGS SHOULD BE ON YOUR FOURTH FINGER AND NO WHERE ELSE?

There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese ......

The thumb represents your Parents.

The second (index) finger represents your Siblings.

The middle finger represents you.

The fourth (ring) finger represents your Life Partner.

The last (little) finger represents your children.


First, open your palms (face to face),bend the middle fingers and hold them together,back to back.

Second, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip.

(As shown in the figure below):

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents). They will open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers (representing siblings). They will also open, because your brothers and sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their separate lives.

Now rejoin the index fingers and separate your little fingers (representing your children). They will open too, because the children also will get married and settle down on their own some day..

Finally, rejoin your little fingers, and try to separate your ring fingers (representing your spouse). You'll be surprised to see that you just CANNOT, because husband & wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!So clever, those Chinese!!

Pa-fall ka rin ba?

PA-FALL : isang taong mahilig magpakita ng motibo, kunwari concern, minsan maharot at mapapagkamalan mong mahal ka o may gusto sa yo. Sa text, laging send ng send ng kilig-qoutes, gudnyt, miss u at muaaaahhh kahit di naman boyfriend or girlfriend. Pag magkasama, laging concern kung kumain ka na, kung pagod ka o kung may problema ka. Lagi kang papasayahin, at laging nandyan pag gusto mo ng kausap.

Ito yung mga taong mapipilitan kang ma-inlove. Kung loyal ka di mo papatulan, kung bored ka o sadyang malibog ka, pwede na rin. Pero in the end, ma re-realize mong sadyang ganun pala sila. Pag nag-propose ka na or nagparamdam sa taong pa-fall, na akala mong mahal ka rin, di ka papansinin, at basted ka. Iiwan kang luhaan, naglalaway at umaasa.

Tanong pa niya sa’yo “Bakit? E friend lang talaga ang turing ko sayo,” matapos kang landiin.

Minsan, ang mga pa-fall e pumapatol din. Makikipag relasyon tapos biglang wala na ulit. Yun yung mga bad na pa-fall, he he he.

Meron namang pa-fall pero di nila alam na pa-fall sila. Yung mga sadyang mabait o talagang manhid at insensitive lang talaga.

Meron naman tinatawag na Assumerong Pa-fall : mga taong nag a-assume na may gusto ang ibang tao sa kanila saka magpapakita ng motibo at lalandi rin.

Nasa paligid lang ang mga pa-fall, kasama na ko dun, he he he.

Ito lang ang maipapayo ko. NEVER FALL IN LOVE sa mga taong PA-FALL.