I Am Not A Rapist

“No one would confess to so heinous a crime had they not committed it.”
Larry A. Hammond

I came back at Robinsons Galleria to pick up my clearance, two weeks after enduring the exhausting NBI clearance new application process. However, I was advised that I needed to undergo a personal interview at the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) head office before they release my clearance. I am totally bored that day, so I thought maybe this unusual glitch on my daily routine could put some color on my uninteresting day.

I was entertaining weird thoughts on my way to NBI head office. Imagining myself sitting in an abandoned and dark interrogation room with swinging light bulb. Bully NBI officers would come in, with torture written all over their faces, holding electrodes for my sorry testicles, and other officers coming with rubber hoses to beat me up.

Of course not, I was actually smiling while imagining this torture-interrogation thing just like in the movies – me and my boring days and hyper mind. But yeah, all I need was an NBI clearance and what I got was an irritating {yet exciting} day.

The interview

We sat in silence for a minute. I just breathed easy.

“Do you know why we want to see you?” asked the lady officer sitting on her shabby standard government issued desk.

“Hmm, No I don’t Ma’m,” I replied calmly.

Then I was barraged by questions about my work, hometown, present address, college degree and other personal info, which of course didn’t intimidate me a bit. She flipped into my dossier, stopped on a page then said,

“So you got a government scholarship during college?” she asked, then flatly added, “You cannot leave the Philippines because you have a contractual obligation with the Dept. of Science and Tech”

Well I am well aware of that, and I already served my obligations to our Republic years ago. So I just gave a lazy nod – thinking about my recent trip to Hong Kong without any hassle.

She then asked me to sign some documents and instructed to proceed to the adjacent desk to swear, with my right hand raised, that I am not a criminal, in front of an administering officer, holding a Special Prosecutor III stamp, ready to seal my dossier.

What’s in my name

It was so trite, so routine. She seemed happy with my answers. With a smile, she reached out her hand to shake mine. Would I accept and shake the hand of an officer representing the Philippine criminal justice system who disturbed my day as a suspect in a crime – as a rapist?

This was not normal; I am a law-abiding citizen. The only crime I can think of is vandalizing LRT stations during my college years as an activist. So I asked her what was this all about.  

“We are tracking a guy with a rape case in Mindoro with the same name as yours. That is why we want to talk to you.” She quickly quipped then pretend to be busy stamping and signing some documents.

Well I just said, “Whew, blame my Mom for giving me a generic first name.”

But I thought my middle name and surname is unique in the Philippines – because people always pronounced it wrong! (And I grew tired of correcting it, so I just let people read it the way they want)   But still I am unlucky enough to have the same name as a rapist suspect with pending case in Mindoro.

Afterthought

It's bad enough if you share the same name as terror suspect or in my case a rapist. What would you do when the NBI interrogate you? Sue?

There are many interesting mistaken identity stories which reflects the flaws in our criminal justice system. I am sure you heard sad news about these cases of mistaken identity where innocent people experienced torture and imprisonment. It's one of the tragedies that can occur in the criminal justice system.

Does this type of  “HIT” or probably “lack of common sense” happen more often? Why would a criminal voluntarily come to the NBI willing to be interrogated by the investigating officer?

Of course, sometimes the police arrest the wrong person, especially when people share the same name or look alike. The interrogation process itself was a punishment.

After that, what will they say? Ooooops, sorry

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INTERESTING CASES OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY IN THE NEWS

» "Mistaken identity destroys OFW’s dreams"  The case of Jason Aguilar detained by the Doha police after he was mistakenly identified as American citizen Jason Ivler, the road rage suspect wanted in the Philippines.
» "Mistaken identity eyed in woman's killing"
»  Brutal torture of a 25-year-old man over mistaken identity in General Santos City, Mindanao 
The case of Haron Abubakar Buisan who was allegedly illegally arrested, detained and brutally tortured by the policemen attached to the General Santos City Police Office (GSCPO) following his arrest on 12 December 2005. {Asian Human Rights Commission:}
». Ex-judge in mistaken identity case cleared by SC, gets retirement perks
{GMA-News}

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Related Post:
» NBI Clearance New Biometric System » How to get it without losing your patience

When Idiots Attack » Our Prime Assertive Customer Rights and How Salespeople Violate It

My jurassic Nokia phone has been with me for five years and already served its purpose more than it is bound to. Its hardware is now getting weird, so last Christmas, as a gift to myself, I decided buying a new Samsung mobile phone.

I grant you that the shop where I bought my phone is legit with official reselling rights, permits and stuff. However, my experience as a customer of that shop tested my temper, patience and my assertive customer right. At any rate, I hope that you can learn over my tales of woe, agree, disagree, defend, or commiserate as you see fit. Please note that it is not my intention to discredit any establishment – this is purely personal opinion on being on the receiving end of a lousy customer service. So with that being said, and without further adieu, let my rants begin!

Mega Exchange’s Mega-Bad Customer Service

I bought my new Samsung Galaxy S in a retail shop called Mega Exchange at SM Megamall Cyberzone because they offer the lowest price compared to other stores in Megamall. I definitely fell in love with my new “all-around” phone running on Android 2.1 (Éclair).

I learned that software upgrade for Samsung Galaxy S from Android 2.1 (Éclair) to Android 2.2 (Froyo) is already available in the Philippines via Samsung Kies but I’m having trouble downloading and installing Kies on my jurassic laptop so I brought my phone to Mega Exchange (the store where I bought it) and asked if software upgrade is part of the store warranty. They said it is not, but if I want to upgrade it, I have to pay 900.00 pesos for it. Whaaatt? I argue that that price is too much for a free downloadable software.

 

Mega Exchange re-tail store at SM Megamall Cyberzone where I bought my phone

Just around the corner is the Samsung Service Center, and they told me that software upgrade for my Galaxy S is FREE provided I have the original receipt. They checked my phone and sadly told me that they cannot do any upgrade on my phone because it is NOT NTC APPROVED (meaning it didn’t pass the National Telecommunications Commission inspection and I suspect it also didn’t pass Customs perhaps to avoid tax.) It’s what they called “puslit.” Damn!

This is the conversation I had with the Mega Exchange manager:

DAY 01:

Me: “Sir, Samsung Service Center refuse to do any free upgrade on the phone I bought here because it is not NTC approved”

Manager: “I’m not aware that some of our phones are not NTC approved. We just accept delivery from our head office, besides we offer store warranty.” {This is just a goddamn alibi – but still I didn’t switch off my diplomatic mode}

Me: “But you’re charging me for the software upgrade, which I am supposed to get for free. If you disclosed that this phone is not NTC approved, I will not buy it. Please upgrade my phone to Froyo.”

Manager: “Sir we don’t do Froyo upgrade here.”  {Liar Liar}

Me: “I talked to one of your technician this morning and told me they do Froyo upgrade for 900.00 pesos. Although I can do it myself, I don’t want to, because if anything happens I know your warranty will not cover it because, of course you will say I tampered with the phone’s OS” 

Manager: “Currently we don’t have the software for Froyo upgrade. We need to install it to our system.”

Me: “Installing Samsung Kies only took an hour, I’m willing to wait.” {The Manager didn’t realize I do research in advance}

Manager: {Whispering something at the technician beside him} “Sir we don’t use Samsung Kies, we are using different software.”

Me: “What software?”

Manager: “Sir, we’re not disclosing it to our clients”

Me: “Then problably it’s illegal. Anyway, I want a Froyo upgrade, can I have my phone upgraded today?”

Manager: “Sir, our senior technician who’s in-charge of upgrades is not on duty today. He’s only here every Saturday ”

Me: “Then I’ll be back Saturday”

DAY 02 – Saturday

Technician: “Sir, it will took one hour for the upgrade.”

Me: “Ok I’ll just leave my phone and be back after an hour”

{After 2 hours}
Technician: “Sir, we need another hour because we need new USB cable. The cable we have is malfunctioning.”

 Me: “What do you mean your cable is malfunctioning?”

Technician: “Sir, its resistor is defective.”

Me: “Look pal, I perfectly know what a resistor is. USB cables doesn’t have resistors. Just tell me if the phone you sold me is defective.”

{It’s damn obvious these guys is messing around, but I just took a deep breath to control myself. Lecturing the poor T-shirt-wearing soldering-iron-jockey would have been pointless because my goal is to have my phone fixed as soon as possible. But I'm not going to leave my phone to collect dust for a few days.}

After another long hour of useless fiddling and head scratching…

Technician: “Sir we can’t connect your phone to the PC. Our software cannot detect your unit. We need a few days to fix it”

Me: “Then the phone is defective. I need it upgraded today.”

Technician: “Sir we need to reformat it and flush the OS.”

Me: “I understand, but I need an upgraded and working phone today.”

Technician: “Sir, we have other customers requiring service and we need to download additional software for your phone.”

Me: “I need my phone today, Can I talk to your manager?

Manager: “Sir, our technician is finding ways to fix your phone. You need to leave it for a few days.”

Me: “Returning back here already cost me money and I already wasted my time here. If you can’t upgrade it today, then it’s definitely defective. Plus it’s not NTC approved. I need a phone today. Please replace it with a new NTC approved phone”

Manager: “Sir, we don’t do replacement, we will just fix it.”

Me: “I know my rights as a customer. You guys already make me look like a fool here. Our agreement is, you will fix it today in just an hour. You already wasted a lot of my time waiting here and giving me obnoxious alibis. You said you can fix it in an hour, then you said you need additional hours, and now you need days? I will not accept that defective phone. I need a new NTC approved phone TODAY.

Manager: “Sir, maybe you want other higher units. You just have to add a certain amount for it.”

Me: “What I need is a Samsung Galaxy S. I need replacement, and I need it today.”

Manager: “Sir you’ll need to add 4,000 pesos for the 16G Samsung Galaxy S, I’m not sure if we still have 8G Galaxy S today. {This is too much and really exasperating! Making sales to an already unsatisfied customer.}

Me: “Just tell me if you will replace it today or not. If not, you’re giving me no option but to file complaint to NTC, DTI or Customs! I want you to replace that defective phone and I want an NTC approved phone TODAY!” {I said it a little louder so that other customers around will hear it}

Manager: “I’ll see what I can do.”

The manager left the customer area and after a few minutes a saleslady handed me a new Samsung Galaxy S – brand new with official NTC sticker inside. They just let me leave without even saying “we are sorry for your inconvenience!”

The following day, I visited Samsung Service Center also in Megamall and got my phone running on Android 2.2-Froyo, upgraded for free.

This most recent experience teach me two things: the value of being well-informed and coping with other people through diplomatic verbal assertiveness. I understand that times are hard for many these days, and that retail shops in particular are feeling the economic pain, but selling non-NTC approved phones, probably to avoid tax and getting away with it is unacceptable. Most of the time, making returns is a bit more unpleasant, but it is our right as a customer.

Any thoughts? Or maybe you also have a bad Customer Service story to tell. I would really appreciate it if you could share highlights of it in my comments box.

 

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Image source: Matt Tusenfot “Familiar Faces II”  

Happy Coffins Before You Die » How to Leave this World In Style

Would you fancy to ‘leave this world' in style? Leave this transitory life for the eternal afterworld in a colorful and uber-cool coffin that looks like an art canvass or a gift box?

I have previous posts regarding different fashionable ways to kick in the bucket list – wherein we can choose a non-traditional ways of disposing our body or perhaps a customized tombstone. Accordingly, I was amazed by this news in a broadsheet yesterday about a Singaporean charity which announced the winners of an international art competition to design "happy coffins." The aim is to encourage the elderly and dying to celebrate life, with 3,000 US dollars for the first prize winner.

Actually, when I read about it, I immediately googled it and came across thelifebeforedeath.com. The website features quality of death index, a first ever global study on the quality of death across 20 countries. The site also has a dedicated page for the things you could do and say before you die, a bucket list, last playlist and a legacy galley. It also highlights the winning “happy coffin” designs.

Well, I think these coffins are cool, why not?

The Happy Coffins contest

In July 2010 an international art competition was facilitated by online portal for creativity, Eyeka. A total of 733 entries was received from 37 countries. Artists and designers from Asia, Africa, the Americas, Australia and Europe enthusiastically responded to the challenge to get creative with the most unusual of canvasses – the Coffin.

Participants had to design a coffin for a family member, close friend or someone who had been an inspiration. Or they could choose to design their own coffin. Each entry had to be accompanied by a written sharing of the thought process leading to the final design.

Professional designers were presented the challenge of creating 3 personalized coffins for residents of the St. Joseph’s Home & Hospice (Singapore) or for a family member, close friend or someone who had been an inspiration. Or they could choose to design their own. Six winning designs out of 733 entries from 37 countries were made into personalized coffins in cooperation with a local funeral home. The awesome entries and winners are compiled at the Underground Gallery.

The project was spearheaded by the local Lien Foundation, which favors non-traditional forms of philanthropy. Under the slogan "My Life, My Coffin" the foundation said it wanted to encourage people to think "out of the box" about taboos surrounding death.

The winning designs

First Prize
"Hello Coffin" by Ines Van Gucht, 27 from Belgium

According to Ines

“This coffin is designed for myself so I wanted it to be personal and real.

I have begun thinking about my life, the future, my death and my funeral. These things raise many questions, like – Who will I be? Will I be happy? Will I be happy with what I made of my life? Will there be regrets?

I cannot answer these questions now.  And once I lie in my coffin, I guess these questions won’t matter. The only certainty then is this coffin. That is why I designed my coffin to be my friend - the one who will take care of me after my death.”

Second Prize
"An Inspiring Force" by Ian Lim Wei Ming, 25 from Singapore

According to Ian:

"This coffin is dedicated to my late Art teacher, Ms Ivy Ho Hwee Ting. She passed away in 2002 from Hepatitis B. The image on the coffin is without facial expression because the essence of Ms. Ho’s smiles cannot be replicated in a painting. But her love of sunflowers is clear.

A devoted mentor, she carried on helping us even after she left teaching for further studies. Her love and enthusiasm inspired me to follow in her footsteps and take up design as a career. This coffin is specially created in appreciation of her"

My Pick among the Merit Prize

My Favorite Things in Life by Martin Matera

R.I.P. (Rest In Pride) from Indonesia

Genesis from Indonesia

The Boatman’s Call from  Singapore

Love is Our Life from China

How about you, what would be the design of your coffin? 

16 Funny Things To Ponder About Living in the 21st Century

 1.  The one thing that unites all human beings on the internet, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside we ALL hope that our friends/network will click that "Like" button on our Facebook status.. 

2. There is a very fine line between “Facebook,” "Twitter" and “mental illness.” 

3. The most powerful force in the internet and the whole universe, is gossip. 

4. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one Filipino policeman who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that policeman is crazy. 

5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she’s gaining weight. 

6. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why your company has not achieved, and never will achieve, its goals, targets or implement plans for salary increase, that word would be “meetings.” 

7. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests and rallies is to annoy people who are not in them. 

8. If God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will NOT use, as His messenger, that guy on IBC 13, wearing red suit with fake smile who wants to be Philippine President. 

9. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 

10. You should not confuse your LIFE with career and money. 

11. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the fastfood waiters and salesladies, is not a nice person. 

12. Your friends love you, don't doubt that. 

13. Friends come and go, that's normal. If your enemies is accumulating - that's abnormal

14. Nobody cares if you can’t sing well in a videoke bar. Just get up and sing.. 

15. The battle of the sexes ended a few decades ago, too many already betrayed their own and joined the other side. 

16. A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.

Comments, Thoughts? Any additional points to ponder you might want to add?

Are you living your life as an adventure?

I consider my life as a continuous adventure of risk-taking, contentment and successes. But it wasn’t always that way. During high school, I sensed that there was something bigger in life – something exciting and fulfilling – but I didn’t know how to go about getting it. Growing up in a small town in Occidental Mindoro where the norm was waiting for the day to be over, I strive to have a different way of life. I try my best to be an achiever – salutatorian of my high school class, a full government scholar during college and now striving to finish Graduate school. I’m not trying to brag here, it’s just that I thought that worldly success alone would bring me what I am searching for.

But after seven years of working as an employee, I have to face the hard truth that I am not on the journey I wished and planned. Though my work was sometimes exciting, I still wasn’t living life as an adventure. I always dreamed of being a professional mountaineer, a fiction book author, professional photographer and a teacher with a PhD. However, life doesn’t always go how we wanted it to be.

Sometimes, when I lazily wake up every morning, forcing myself to work, I had these funny thoughts, with a flash of miserable lucidity, that I was just fooling myself, but I did nothing. And for many years, I did nothing but drift. Like a driven leaf, I just do everything expected or demanded of me.

The deterioration of our ambitions

I remembered a phrase by a poet or maybe a Greek philosopher I read somewhere, something like “He who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence.” I was a mass of aspirations and dreams unacted on, of fantasies as unreal as those that awed me during childhood which was mostly spent in the farms. I always wanted to go somewhere, to travel the world perhaps, but suddenly I found myself paralyzed in a rut at the age of twenty-nine – making payments on an apartment room, receiving bonuses – (sometimes at the mercy of the management), going from my boarding house to office, to gym and back to house, going to occasional barkada out-of-town trip but mostly just imagining luxury vacations, daydreaming, escaping through books, blogging and surfing the net.

Working life itself was routine and habit: morning rush, breakfast at the office pantry, check e-mails, morning work routine, buying lunch at Lola Payat and Lola Simangot’s carinderia (that’s the name we gave to our nearby office carinderia), exchanging jokes about sex, clitorology and gossips at lunch, afternoon work routine and a quick barkada chismis before leaving office. Office friendships was surely based on that dismal reality which cost us nothing to share the workplace and life’s irony with which we viewed the mediocrity of our lives and the deterioration of our ambitions. In a company, where there is no such thing as internal career advancement but merely a training ground, we see in the other the mirror of our insufficiency. With identical correctness, we carried out our duties as employees, always voicing out the overwhelming sarcasm of our conversations - blaming HR, attacking Healthcare policies, complaining about unjustified salaries, etc. – but always never intended for a true complaint (maybe that’s how the corporate world works).

The curious case of Mang Frank

I remember Mang Frank (may he rest in peace). Funny old guy, started as a Recruitment Assistant, served a forced retirement (still in the same position) after serving almost half of his working years in this company and died broke the following year. I imagine him telling me, while sitting in front of his favorite old noisy typewriter: “Don’t get stuck in this rut, don’t let what happened to me happen to you, get out while you can – don’t cave in!”

I am hired in this company as his replacement but I actually avoided him on his last few weeks because I was so bored with the tedium of his increasingly disjointed stories, his detailed account of the intrigues and tricks he was victim of in the office and his very detailed sexual escapades. The years went by, I am just thankful I am not in that position anymore but still in the same group of companies. I go to work every morning, pay my monthly bills and trying to stretch the money till the end of every month, which is not always successful – life of a typical bachelor eh? So I was considering looking for a second job to have more savings. In this way I will not give up all the plans that seemed so courageous when I started working: preparing myself for a better career, say, university professor or researcher in some institute. But I didn’t have the time or the will, and my free evenings got away from me without me noticing.

I know what the ghost of Mang Frank would say: “What are you doing? Why haven’t you got out of here? How many more years are you going to take it?”

Once in a while I did go somewhere, but most of the time things doesn’t always go as planned. There are always set-backs and a lot of things to consider.

Life as an Adventure – One step at a time

Then it hit me. This is the adventure. This. This up and down, success and failure, back and forth – all of it is the adventure. All the time that I was looking for what I want, I was learning what it was to live a life of adventure. It wasn’t about being perfect, doing things right, receiving big salary, getting rich and having wild success with no downside. It was risking decisions, stumbling and falling short of my expectations as well as enjoying and building on my own successes.

As the famous Filipino salawikain said, “Habang maiksi ang kumot, matuto kang mamaluktot. Kung mahaba na at malapad saka na mag-unat unat” [Refers to situations when resources are scarce, one should learn to be thrift and adapt].  

My adventure was really just beginning – I’ll just have to take it, one step at a time.

 
P.S.
How about you, are you living your life as an adventure?
Are you satisfied and happy with your current situation?

Please share your personal thoughts on the Comments section below.                   

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Image credit: Desperation by Antonina

The Chick’s Lesson from Shit

This story is inspired by our little farm in Mindoro during my childhood days.

Hope you’ll like it. Here’s my story:

One windy afternoon, as the mother hen and her chicks are hurrying to return to the farmer's nipa hut to avoid the sudden gusts of amihan (or the strong trade winds), one of the chicks decided he doesn’t want to leave the farm yet. “You are all cowards,” he said to the other chicks. “After all, all I have to do is hide under the talahib grass to avoid the sudden gusts of amihan.” 

Soon, however, strong amihan winds blow and he realized he cannot make it to the talahib grass to hide. The first wind gust throws him nearby a rushing river with grazing carabaos. He realized that, just another wind blow will throw him in the river and will mean instant drowning. 

He just closed his eyes just as he heard the coming wind, buzzing like bees. Just seconds before the strong wind came; a carabao walked by and shits directly over the chick. The carabao’s shit covered the chick’s body, saving his life. 

He was very happy to be alive and he happily chirped and tweeted, until a passing eagle noticed him. The eagle quickly do a deadly aerial dive towards him, clawed him out of the shit and ate him.

So what’s my point here?

• Well first, those who throw shits on us are not necessarily our enemy.

• Second, not everyone who help us get out of the mess is necessarily our friends. 

Do you agree? Please share you story on the comments section.

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Image Credit:  Dmitriy Polyakov's Illustration

The Tyranny of My Second Mind

Looking at my feet, I walked, and did not notice the rain,
Till the gentle droplets reached my brows and fall like tears,
With clouded thoughts, I stride the deserted street,
The jeepneys were gone, and men also few.

Annoyed being ignored, the rain got furious,
I heard its million drops hit the battered asphalt,
Forming a king’s crown as its journey ends,
And in my hands I saw my dreams, abandoned like a child.



Yet blamed my other mind that fractured my resolve,
Than I reviled my existence and myself,
For subjecting my sacred vow,
Upon the tyranny of my second mind. ***

- random poem by Yodz -

[Reflections on losing discipline, indecision and losing focus. 

Written during during the typhoon "Karen"] 

20 August 2008, Mandaluyong City. 

Notes:__________________________

***Paulo Coelho, the famous author of “The Alchemist” said that we have two minds, first is the one we use in decision making and is used for logical thinking, the other one is the random thoughts and most of the time, uncontrolled. If you wake up with a song that just keeps playing in your mind, humming a melody without lyrics like a “ta-de-dum…la la la” thing, well that is your second mind doing its trick. In my case, I consider my second mind as my evil mind. Maybe that’s why Paulo Coelho strongly suggests controlling or in some instances, killing your second mind. [Notes from my post: Tomorrow I Will Kill My Second Thought]

How Do We Catch Sand Crabs in Mindoro - Learning from Nature

Aside from building sandcastles, we used to catch sand crabs for fun during my childhood days in our town in Occidental Mindoro. Sand crabs usually stayed in their deep holes along the sandy coastlines. One way to catch them is to dig their holes, but that takes a lot of time 

The crabs are foolish too!

It is well known, especially among the Filipinos, that crabs are selfish. The term “crab mentality” is used to describe a kind of selfish, short-sighted thinking which runs along the lines of “if I can't have it, neither can you.”

Only a few know that crabs are foolish too! That foolishness, of holding on to something dangerous, makes them easy to catch. 

Foolishness is deadly

To catch them inside their deep burrow, we use clotheslines or a small rope. We tie a piece of fishing net on one end of the rope and insert it in the crab’s hole. When we feel the crab’s claw pull in the line, we will keep on twisting the small rope and slowly pull it out of its burrow until we catch it.

All it needs to do is to let go of the other end of the rope to escape being caught, but it clawed that “something” that invades its territory, believing that it is an important fight. The crab doesn’t know that holding on to something unimportant and lifeless will cause him his life.

Nature is a great teacher on how to live our life

For the past years, I am like a sand crab. I keep on holding on to “something.” But I don’t even want to name that “something,” it has no name.    

It is hunger perhaps.

I hunger for growth and change from my old ways, from my old habits and thinking, but I keep on holding the other end of that “something,” defiantly resisting change, believing that it is an important fight.

I am a fool. Even if I already feeling the tension and the pain it is giving me on my daily affairs – crazily nurturing my frustrations, I still keep on holding on.

Maybe that “something” is “expectations.”

Yes, I guess it is “expectations.” the damn process of what may happen scares me - expectations from family, work, friends, life, career and myself all build paralysis in my mind.  Conversely, I feel frustrated when I have thoughts of expectations from these, draining my spirit and circumvents my growth, it is frustrating expecting anything. I hate it to be honest. 

Or maybe it is silence.

This silence – this silence that keeps feeding on my strength. This silence that breeds more silence, nourishes my indolence, nurtures my weakness, keeping me stagnant, forever staring at that lonely star before dawn. I am becoming weak, growing weaker still – this silence has bereft me of sense.

My soul itself gone stark, mad perhaps because I know longer acknowledge REASON. Like that foolish crab, I keep on holding to something lifeless and unimportant.  

I need to abandon all, to break silence, to kill expectations, to feel life, to end my hunger, and start living my life.

Face-Off, What will you look like when you grow old

While thinking of a blogpost idea today, I came across this site (The Face of the Future), aimed at exploring the latest advances in facial computer vision and graphics. You can transform your face to a different age or race. I tried it and it’s really cool.

This is me, looking bored, imprisoned by this face: feeling like a fighter without a cause. I read a research study, (I’m sorry I can’t recall if it’s in a news article or a book), which concludes that women can look at a photograph of a man's face and assess with high accuracy whether he's the kind of guy who likes children, and thus shows good potential as a long-term mate. Hmmm, what do you think of me girls, u-hmmm.

Conversely, most women who participated in the survey identified correctly the men who had the highest testosterone levels and most suitability for a short-term fling. Whew, that is a really tough research eh. I guess men can also identify a short-term-fling-type girls. Peace!

Below is my face, transformed as a child and as a teenager (I can't remember I looked like that.)

The last picture is my supposed look when I grow old. Hmm, I don't want to look soooo sad like that - scary, scary.... I want to grow old but happy. My only wish is to have my complete teeth with me 'till death.

There's also a cool face transformation option if you want to see your Afro or Caucasian look. Here's mine:

Hmm, I like my Caucasian look, but the best look I really like is my manga version on the right. Super-duper cool. I instantly love it. I guess I should use it as my avatar.

Despite the old adage 'never judge a book by its cover' and despite the prevailing belief that attractiveness does not matter once we know a person, being confident neat and attractive still is an advantage.

Happy blogging! Looking forward to see your future face!
Always Smile!!!

I Think I Needed A More Mature Blog Entries

Today, I decided to read all my blog entries. I find it odd because, of all the online geeks out there, it should be me who should be reading and updating it more often for corrections, coherence and content. While reading my entries, I find it a little childish, which is understandable because I am childish. I think I needed more mature compositions nowadays, not that I am already 28, but because a more informative subjects is I think, more nicer to read. I also tried to check how old is my blog. I am surprised because it is already four years!

THE AGE OF MY BLOG (as of the date and time of this entry)
years: 4.60 months: 55 days: 1680 hours: 40312 minutes: 2418700 seconds: 145122013
Milli seconds: 14512201300 weeks: 11758 Day of My first Blog Tuesday

I sometimes feel like deleting some incoherent entries in this blog but I decided not to. I don’t care what others will say anyway. I think I should also start a new blog dedicated for the great and not so cool books I read and also for the movies I watched. And another blog regarding the development of my thesis.

Hmmm…. I really need to manage my time well then.

Nice Reminder About Living Our Life

A very nice reminder to all of us....

Along time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered.

Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible.

Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I push myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."

The above story is similar with the journey of our Life. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our health , time with our family and to appreciate the surrounding beauty and the hobbies we love.

One day when we look back, we will realize that we don't really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have missed.

Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely not about work! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasures of life. Life is a balance of Work and Play, Family and Personal time. You have to decide how you want to balance your Life. Define your priorities, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decisions be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of Life, the whole aim of human existence.

So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take Life for granted. Live a balanced lifestyle and enjoy Life!

Watch your thoughts ; they become words.
Watch your words ; they become actions.
Watch your actions ; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character .
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny .